We all have beliefs and operate within belief systems until we see those beliefs do not work for us anymore, or out of habit even after we see them for what they are. I have long said that "our beliefs are just beliefs" meaning that they don't have any impact on our lives unless we let them. I could believe that the sky is green, but that doesn't mean it's true. Our approaches to relationships and relationship structures such as polyamory and monogamy will naturally be influenced by our beliefs and cultural conditioning. I think it's really important to be aware of our beliefs and how they influence us, and to challenge them.
Most of the beliefs I have about myself in relationships have to do with issues of abandonment and feeling worthy of someone's love, time, and attention. Those are the beliefs I struggle with, which naturally come into play whether I'm in a poly or mono relationship. As far as beliefs about relationships in general, I think there's this underlying one I was taught, about men being rescuers, like a knight in shining armor, and that eventually I would find the one man who would rescue me, turn my life from shit to gold, and make everything all right. So mythic! However, that belief is completely at odds with my beliefs about myself being unworthy, so it's all a mindfuck in the end.
Hot chick in the city.
Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me. ~Bryan Ferry
"Love is that condition in which another person's happiness is essential to your own." ~Robert Heinlein
Last edited by nycindie; 09-05-2011 at 01:52 AM.