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Old 09-05-2011, 01:45 AM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 10,083

We all have beliefs and operate within belief systems until we see those beliefs do not work for us anymore, or out of habit even after we see them for what they are. I have long said that "our beliefs are just beliefs" meaning that they don't have any impact on our lives unless we let them. I could believe that the sky is green, but that doesn't mean it's true. Our approaches to relationships and relationship structures such as polyamory and monogamy will naturally be influenced by our beliefs and cultural conditioning. I think it's really important to be aware of our beliefs and how they influence us, and to challenge them.

Most of the beliefs I have about myself in relationships have to do with issues of abandonment and feeling worthy of someone's love, time, and attention. Those are the beliefs I struggle with, which naturally come into play whether I'm in a poly or mono relationship. As far as beliefs about relationships in general, I think there's this underlying one I was taught, about men being rescuers, like a knight in shining armor, and that eventually I would find the one man who would rescue me, turn my life from shit to gold, and make everything all right. So mythic! However, that belief is completely at odds with my beliefs about myself being unworthy, so it's all a mindfuck in the end.
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia

Click here for a Solo Poly view on hierarchical relationships
Click here to find out why the Polyamorous Misanthrope is feeling disgusted.

Last edited by nycindie; 09-05-2011 at 01:52 AM.
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