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Old 09-04-2011, 10:44 PM
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Magdlyn Magdlyn is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Metro West Massachusetts
Posts: 6,555

Originally Posted by trueRiver View Post

It seems obvious to me that the man, also, was blindsided by his own reaction. Does nobody else see this? The guy has wanted something for 12 years, then when he gets it, it turns out not to be what he wanted after all.

Has this never happened to anyone else? I don't mean regarding sex, I mean in any part of life? Every time you wanted something, worked for it, waited for it, every time it turned out as good or better than you expected?
The difference now being, there are 4 people involved, and his reactionary stance has hurt 3 of them. All fun and games with him and 2 women, and then his wife gets some cock and he's all, OHHHH I never want you to want another person ever again!!!

Please think about how you feel when men make this kind of remark about women's periods. Many women enjoy/suffer huge changes in what they want on a monthly cycle. It is hormonal. Many men, as you have clearly noticed, enjoy/suffer huge changes in what they want before and after sex. That is hormonal too. You have no more right to make this kind of sexist remark about a man than I would have to make the same kind of derogatory remark about a woman who refuses sex due to PMT.
Sure, I have a right. Is it kind and polite? No, but it's my truth and I am going to state it. By the way, I may be a cisgendered woman, but I am genderqueer (and post menopausal) and my gf is a transwoman. She used to be loaded with testosterone and has told me many times of the crazy things she did while extremely horny in her teens and early 20s, and how let down and ashamed and disgusted she'd sometimes feel right afterwards. And how more than one of her "boyfriends" would use her for gay sex, cum, and then kick her out and not talk to her at school the next day, in fact, make disparaging remarks about her being a "fag" in front of their macho friends, when they had been the ones with their cocks in her ass.

It's not derogatory, it's a fact.

You should not blame anyone for hormonal changes, or ridicule their entire gender for it.
I don't feel I was ridiculing anyone. My impatience with this unfortunate aspect of men's sexuality is real, and they themselves admit it, as do women who suffer from irritability when premenopausal. *shrug*

You will not help this couple resolve anything by blatantly taking sides like this, especially not when you make it into a gender loyalty thing.
Again, I am genderqueer, I have no "gender loyalty thing."
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley

Mags (poly, F, 62)
Pixi (poly, F, 40) my partner since January 2009
Master, (mono, M, 36), Pixi's Dom/bf since April 2013
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