I am the DH... and I will tell you that *Longing* is my life, my wife, my best friend and over the past 6 to 8 months we have grown closer than any other time in our 12 year marriage. We have both made poor relationship decisions in recent months...kept secrets from each other about seeing others. I feel sick and relieved about all of it. Thank you, First- to to my wife for posting here (showing me all her posts and your responses), Second- encouraging me to sign on and be able to learn more about the poly life, Third- for all who posted so honestly and candidly about solutions and or hints about our relationship flaws.
In figuring this all out, I have made many mistakes that nearly pushed us into divorce. I do believe that I am a poly person, I do not know (but am learning) what that exactly means to me and my marriage and my wife (who confesses monogomy for me). I have never cheated sexually, tho thought about it when we were at our lowest point at the beginning of this year.
The challenges that we have faced this past year have been some of the toughest; working through secrets and about 10 years of honesty issues. I would like to think we have things figured out, but love is a process that has a need for constant management. Currently, we have full open communication about and for each other. I am not going to pursue a poly life without my wife, because she is at current my first priority. My love for her is more important to me at this moment. If we move from there into poly relationship, be it so, then we can cross that bridge of polyamory.
Thank you for any comments, concerns, helpful hints.