Thread: quad in life
View Single Post
Old 09-04-2011, 09:32 PM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 8,340

So, you are in a quad and want the possibility of having an additional girlfriend. Do you think you may want any additional partners to also be a part of the quad (making it more of a tribe, I think!) or do you just want someone "for yourself?" (for lack of a better way to put it) If your quad has never made an agreement to be polyfidelitous, I don't see any problem, really.

It just sounds like it might be a good time to all get together and review basic boundaries to make sure everyone in your quad is on the same page and is aware of what's going on. It sounds like none of you really ever said, "Okay, it's not swinging anymore. Now we're all poly." I think that it is a good sign that Jenn is able to laugh with you about her jealousy, but make sure you aren't making her feel "wrong" for feeling that way. I also assume that you would be okay with anyone else in the quad taking on additional lovers.
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia "

An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:

Last edited by nycindie; 09-04-2011 at 09:35 PM.
Reply With Quote