Thanks cosmic. I think, actually, the thing that has discouraged me the most is the eye-rolling from my straight friends/family when I have pursued yet another odd relationship only to find I'm miserable.
A woman I've been friends with for about 18 years said of my new love interest, "Isn't that how your dad was? He was gay, but not sure and got together with your mom?". She was trying to say something along the lines of don't repeat history again.
I played along, feeling guilty and wrong for having a crush on someone who, in conventional, monogamous terms, is unavailable.
But, inside, I don't consider him unavailable. He's a delicious shade of grey that I'm very happy to know and I'm open to whatever form our relationship may take.
That, I would say is the the most frustrating aspect.
I love how you say,
Sometimes I think the cosmos throws a lot of things at us to have us experience them and strengthen ourselves into who we really are so that when destiny comes knocking we are fully present and capable of embracing it fully and blossoming into a more enriched and whole person.
I wish this form of learning, in the realm of relationships, was more socially acceptable and not just, "Oh, there she goes again"....