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Old 09-04-2011, 09:03 AM
trueRiver trueRiver is offline
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Manchester, England & Tain, Scotland
Posts: 85

Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
It sounds like he assumes you should know his boundaries. That isn't fair.
He was assuming you would know his boundaries even when he didn't know them himself. This is not just unfair, it is irrational.

And yet, it is a very human way to be irrational, too. I have caught myself on this one, most of us do it sometimes. So yes, I agree it is neither your fault nor your responsibility, but would also suggest it is not his 'fault' either.

It *is* however his *responsibility* to sort out his own irrational expectations, so I agree they need to be challenged.

Take time, though, to notice the huge compliment implied in those expectations: he expected more of you than is humanly possible, which is unfair, unreasonable and very flattering too.

There are two Rivers here now: which one is this?

quaker poly experiences and poly: a quaker perspective

I hope other British Quakers who are poly (or wonder if they are) will contact me here, thanks, Friends.
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