Originally Posted by nycindie
It seems your natural inclination leans toward pulling back when hurt and then retaliating passively, instead of addressing things directly. I think the hurt you're feeling is where you need to look, and you and Mrs. C. need to keep talking about the deeper feelings underneath the actions. Whether porn is healthy or not, right or wrong, isn't really the issue here, as I see it.
Holy smokes, didn't think this would be such a hot topic. I see how there's both sides about this subject and how we have to decide how open our style of this would be.
No, not trying to be self centered or controlling while I go do whatever I want.
I think I agree with River quite a bit on his view about this. For me, looking at stuff on the internet is very one sided, and there's no extra caring or loving being put in from another person for all of us to benefit from. If we look at it from the self-loving perspective, then maybe there is. I guess it depends on how you go about it. In Mr. C's case, I don't think addiction is something to be concerned about.
Cindie, I think you really nailed what was going through my mind also. I'm not sure we've really found the root cause to some of our problems so it feels like we keep coming across the same problems in different contexts. And like someone mentioned in our other thread, talking about poly brings all of that to the surface.