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Old 09-03-2011, 09:19 PM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 10,083

I think people are possibly missing something important here. Cheesehead, I sensed from your original post here that you are angry about your wife wanting you to accept poly and you are looking at it as "Well, now anything goes!" You started another thread to discuss how you feel your wife is moving too fast (though all she's done is talk and read about poly as a possibility). Now, in this thread, you paint a picture of unfairness. You want people here to think she's being unreasonable.
Originally Posted by Cheesehead100 View Post
I'm supposed to approve of her being with another guy, but she's going to veto me jerking off to internet porno???
You feel like she's asked you to make this huge sacrifice and it's unfair for you not to be able to look at porn. However, to me, it looks like some or your motivation behind wanting to look at porn, and even starting this thread, seems to be anger or hurt feelings about her wanting poly.

I sense that you are still incredibly hurt about her wanting another relationship and, perhaps somewhat unconsciously, you want to do something you know she would find hurtful to "get her back." You will feel justified in being hurt if everyone here agrees with you about the porn. She mentioned in your other thread how she came back from your honeymoon with an illness, how that limited/prevented sex, and how you retreated sexually because of it for several months. It seems your natural inclination leans toward pulling back when hurt and then retaliating passively, instead of addressing things directly. I think the hurt you're feeling is where you need to look, and you and Mrs. C. need to keep talking about the deeper feelings underneath the actions. Whether porn is healthy or not, right or wrong, isn't really the issue here, as I see it.
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Last edited by nycindie; 09-04-2011 at 07:00 AM.
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