Originally Posted by Avenidas
I've told my partner how I feel about his other relationship, that I want nothing to do with his OSO, that I don't want to hear any of the mean things this person says about me, and that I won't allow the OSO to bully me through him... However, the circumstances in place make it impossible for me to have a regular and timely form of communication, so I'm left being ineffective at finding a productive outlet of my own and a way to have my voice heard. I feel like the circumstantial silencing is growing to be part of the abuse, because it's isolating me to feel crazy, second-guess myself all the time, and feel insecure-not just in my relationship-but also personally and socially insecure.
It's time to head out the door. You've told your partner about the pain his OSO is causing you. And it sounds like you've told your partner he is in an abusive relationship. You need to move on because he is complicit in the abuse by passing on what was said. What loving partner relays hurtful things said about one partner to the other? That's vicious on its own.