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Old 09-03-2011, 11:44 AM
trueRiver trueRiver is offline
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Manchester, England & Tain, Scotland
Posts: 85

Originally Posted by ComfyBoots View Post
Any tips or experiences anyone wants to share would be welcome, though.
When you tell someone, prefix it with 'we have an unconventional relationship', or 'I guess you could say we have an unconventional relationship' or similar.

Three reasons why this will help some people. First: it gives them advance warning that they are going to hear something unusual. It will come as less of a surprise, giving them a better chance to respond as a friend, rather than as a stunned rabbit.

Secondly, it is easier to *hear* something challenging if you just heard something you agree with. The listener is always going to agree that the relationship is unconventional, and the fact that they agree with this gives them a better chance of accepting the rest of what you are saying

Thirdly, even if they really do not take it well, you have fed them a polite euphemism for anything more critical they might otherwise have said. In that case, their use of the word 'unconventional' will be less damaging to your continuing friendship than some of the other words they might have come up with.

There are two Rivers here now: which one is this?

quaker poly experiences and poly: a quaker perspective

I hope other British Quakers who are poly (or wonder if they are) will contact me here, thanks, Friends.
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