Yes, I think a steady diet of Dan might be a good idea...now i just need to wrestle my copy of Sex at Dawn back off the friend who has had it for months!
As a sideline to my main question, I wondered about how to deal with my lovers:
Before I met Gentleman Caller (hilarious AND apt), I had two casual, occasional lovers for over a year, lets call them Matt and Rob. Rob is married and lives in a different country. With Matt it was kind of a friendly NSA set up, with Rob it is a mentor type relationship with some great sex thrown in. Matt is a little bit younger and tends to blow hot-and-cold a lot, gets close for a while, looses interest (perhaps persuing someone else) then gets back in touch. I accepted it cause it worked for me and Matt is very honest.
Since things got serious with GC both Rob and Matt are more interested. They have both been important to me and I don't want to simply drop them, I could probably continue a sexual relationship with them and it would not affect how I feel about GC. But that would not be fair to GC, would hurt him if he found out, would not be honest and I don't want to go there.
However I'm reluctant to 'come clean' about GC because some decades of experience tell me that arrangements like I have with Rob and Matt are more stable in the long term than the big love relationship.
Basically, I feel really great about GC but I fear putting all my eggs in one basket (pardon the pun!)