View Single Post
Old 09-02-2011, 11:03 PM
AnnabelMore's Avatar
AnnabelMore AnnabelMore is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 2,285

Originally Posted by Minxxa View Post
I don't really see this as one of those "games" people play-- like playing hard to get so that the person will chase you. What I see is that you are recognizing that Gia needs space, and even though you would prefer to see her all of the time, you are respecting that need and giving her the time she needs. Because you are doing this for her, she is getting to have space and is feeling appreciative and closer to you and freer to contact you.

This isn't a manipulative game-- it's being a good partner.
Thanks, Minx. I want to be a good partner but I'm also afraid of rejection, so I often find myself wondering about these things... like, am I refraining from mentioning my feelings for Eric because I'm respecting his statement that he doesn't want a relationship OR because I'm a coward... or, third and more machiavellian option, in order to make him feel comfortable enough to get closer to me so that eventually we CAN have a relationship? A combination of all three, I think.

As long as I'm operating most from motives I feel comfortable with, or at least as long as I'm fairly evenly balanced between motives, I feel like I'm ok. But like the band Scissor Sisters says, "You've got to question your intentions cuz the bad ones kill."
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.
Reply With Quote