This is the tough stuff, that is for sure. This is where you have to know your spouse really well. Know if it is strictly fear talking, or if they truly are not going to have their mind changed.
My husband once told me to dump someone. He had had enough of seeing me pulled around by someone. I agreed. As the relationship wasn`t going anywhere. It was still my decision, he just said it first.
Another time he was scared, had a loopy moment, and told me to end it with someone. I said ..no.
I told him we could talk about things, and had many, many options as far as space and comfort levels, but the one thing that was not a option, was for him ending/dictating a relationship of mine.
Moral of the story, if you act like you have to ask permission for things, don`t be surprised when you get shot down. There is a difference between compromise, and communicating abilities and choices, versus acting like you need permission from a spouse.
There are two ways to act like a teen-age kid with 'dating'. #1 -Begging and pleading complete with pouting and waiting. #2 - Hissy fits and temper tantrums, complete with emotional withdrawl and punishment.
Its really its own art-form, the people who learn to walk the line of holding their own convictions, yet being compassionate with their spouses fears and needs.