Originally Posted by TruckerPete
Have to disagree with you, here. (And NYC's similar sentiment; can't be bothered to multiquote on iPad.)
I do believe it is possible for someone to choose to be poly, structure their relationships in a poly fashion, or identify as poly. However you'd like to put it.
But there are some for whom it is not a choice. What proof do you want? Well, me. Unless you are referring to choosing poly over cheating or serial monogamy for the rest of my life. That's about the only choice I have over how I deal with falling in love ALL THE FRICKIN' TIME.
What she said. My choice was to try to bottle it up and repress it and stuff this square poly peg into a round mono hole (please excuse the language--I didn't intend for it to be dirty), and it made me intensely unhappy, guilty, and ashamed for a long time.
For me, being poly is every bit as much a wired orientation as someone else being wired gay or lesbian. "Coming out" to me has the same significance--and the same relief--as it does for someone who was closeted and trying to live unhappily as a straight person.
I readily admit that, as with sexual orientation, poly vs. mono probably has a spectrum: some are hardwired mono, some could choose to live either way, and some are hardwired poly.