View Single Post
Old 09-01-2011, 06:51 AM
trueRiver trueRiver is offline
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Manchester, England & Tain, Scotland
Posts: 85

Originally Posted by River View Post
It's growing more apparent to me that I'd like to have cuddle-friendly friends with whom I'm not sexually or "romantically" involved, but still quite close. I'm talking clothes on cuddling, mainly, though I could imagine naked cuddling as a real possibility.

Have you any cuddle-friends? Would you like to?
hi again River

as so often on these forums you share my mind as well as sharing our name

I have had cuddle friends, and would like many more. With some it is the case that there is some sexual attraction but no wish (for whatever reason) to act on that. With others, especially men(*), it is not about sex but about feelings of warmth, safety, security, and friendship.

I have had two cuddly friendships with women where we'd share a bed together on a snuggles and no sex basis; one of these had a sexual partner - if you'd count it as a V it was a very unsymmetrical one.

I have had many more huggy friendships, by which I mean one where we'd sometimes sit cuddled up, ie more than using hugs for hello and goodbye.

I have also had two sexual relationships which started like that and then we re-negotiated to sleep but no sex then later re-negotiated to sex. It is a very gentle, respectful, way into a sexual relationship, in my experience.

I describe myself as polyaffectionate as well as polyamorous to indicate the willingness to have close huggy feely partners as well as sexual partners.

In my experience (English culture) being polyaffectionate is even less accepted than being polyamorous: too many folk assume polyaffection is just a recruiting technique....

(*) one of the ways we differ, River, is that I can find men attractive yet never want to turn that into a sexual experience. In fact one of the ways I know I'm hettie is the not wanting to have sex with certain blokes that I can see are very attractive. I gather from your posts that it is different for you

There are two Rivers here now: which one is this?

quaker poly experiences and poly: a quaker perspective

I hope other British Quakers who are poly (or wonder if they are) will contact me here, thanks, Friends.
Reply With Quote