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Old 09-01-2011, 05:42 AM
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AnnabelMore AnnabelMore is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 2,285

Thanks for the thoughts, ladies. I've decided to not try to get them to give me any further definitions or reassurances right now, whether by email or by poem. Making that firm decision has helped me relax and refocus a little.

I know from experience that when a partner is pulling away my instinct is to cling tighter... and that's not helpful. Gia is looking for some space and lightness in a life that has just become waaaay more crowded and serious. If I try to smoosh us closer together I'm just going to make her want to pull away more. So, I chill out. I back off. And then I notice she's emailing me a little more. When I stop chasing her, that's when she feels safe enough to relax and reach out to me.

I don't think I could handle it if it were always this way. I hate those reverse psychology games when you have to pretend you don't want somone in order to get them to want you. But I can handle it for a short while, during this time when she's so overwhelmed that the idea of putting energy into her relationship with me must seem so daunting.

I can be the stronger one right now. I have the strength to spare and she doesn't, and it just comes down to that. I believe in the intimacy we've built together, and I will do what I've been saying I would do all along -- continue to be patient and to see this through with her.

I cannot *wait* to see her and Bee again. It wouldn't do me any harm to see Eric either, but it's my lady and her son that I'm thinking of at the moment.
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.
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