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Old 08-31-2011, 11:41 PM
Lucia Lucia is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2011
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Quote:
Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
As the pivot of a vee for several years now.... and your husband might not like hearing this.... his behaviour to me is not acceptable. Some people are good at poly in theory, but in action, they aren't so good. His "grumpiness" is not appropriate behaviour towards you or his girlfriend, ESPECIALLY as he is not talking!

I don't think making yourself feel that you are in some way "wrong" for feeling the way you do is also not okay. You are entitled to every emotion you have and his response should be one of compassion.... he should be asking, "what is going on for you that you are struggling with my talking to her on the phone?" I would suggest he find ways to manage his communication better; perhaps learn some new skills and get about treating the loves of his life like he CARES about what they think and feel, rather than thinking he is entitled to a life dictated by his mood. He is entitled to his feelings and thoughts too, but is not entitled to harbour them and assume and expect that everyone he is in a relationship suck it up so he gets his way....

Sorry, this sounds harsh. It isn't meant to be and I say it with as much empathy as I can muster.... much of my time is spent making sure that I have a smile on my face as we launch into another round of communicating. That is just how it is if it is to work I have found. *eye roll*
NO its not harsh at all. you are right about it.
I dont know how much he gets grumpy with his GF, by the way.
He is hurting because me and his GF get jelouse each other, he simple wants to live with both of us, but thats not going to happen any more.
I dont know how i can support his strugglness, try to not be jelouse, but sometime its on my face.....
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