Originally Posted by Monogamish
As far as "making me enter relationships"...that's a huge pickle. I know that isn't what he's doing, but as a result of my miswiring (the first man I had sex with was also the sociopath who pimped me out, both for free and for money, immediately thereafter, and I enabled him to do so by pushing myself harder to have sex with these people so that he would love me and approve of me), I'm afraid that I'm going to fall into the trap of pushing myself sexually or emotionally with someone when I'm not 100% clear on what I want, just because I feel like I "should", for Lilin OR for my own benefit. Although I don't want this to happen, this is a huge part of where my nervousness about opening up comes from.
In my practice of D/s I have agreements with my sub that he is not to be touched by anyone but me. Under no circumstance will he submit to my demanding he have sex with someone. I am his protector as much as his controller. I take that roll very seriously and know that if I falter on our agreements within our relationship dynamic that I will lose the privilege of being his master. It gives him great comfort and empowerment to know that he is off limits through me. It that makes sense. he knows that I own him and that part of that is that no one can touch him.
I am wondering why, or perhaps need some clarity on why you would think that you need to be involved with any partner Lilin becomes involved with. There is no reason to create a triad out of your relationship dynamic. You could happily be in a vee situation and not have more than acknowledgement of another submissive if you choose.
The point is that you have a choice there. Not only do you have a choice, but I would think it would be a very powerful experience for you to have his dominance in the situation support your choice, just as it is empowering for Mono. You could very well experience healing from past wounds in a situation whereby he has another lover or lovers that he firmly demands be kept separate from you.
Nothing like being the Queen of the palace so to speak!
or princess? (or would that be too dominant? I dunno... as I said, I am the dom in the situation, I'm not necessarily coming from the place of a sub