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-   -   Penis size and sexual enjoyment. (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=9948)

saevuscorvax 05-18-2011 04:09 PM

Penis size and sexual enjoyment.
Hello everyone.

I am a long time lurker, posting for the first time. I have a question, but first some context.

I am involved in a primary relationship with a woman, and we both have secondarys as well.

For X or Y reason, recently, we have both spent a lot more time with our secondaries.

This week we set it aside to reconnect with each other. However, we came across a problem.

Her secondary is VERY well endowed. From what I understand, the term "Monster" can be applied. I am average.

This is not a question of insecurity. We already got past that.

The problem is, since they have been spending a lot more time recently, thus sleeping together a lot more, she is very stretched out. VERY.

To the point that when we tried to make love, we had a hard time feeling each other. It was a very hurtful experience. We both ended up crying and unsure of what to do.

Now, the physical aspect is simple enough. She just needs to not sleep with him for a while to get back to her normal size. Not a big deal.

However, it has left us with a deep emotional scar. We have had a hard time reconnecting since then, and it has been a struggle to be comfortable with any physicality.

On my end, of course, I am somewhat apprehensive to be inside her again, for fear of not being able to please her. She feels the same towards me.

Any advice on how to proceed with this? Obviously she will continue her secondary relationship, and I fully support this - I just don't know what the best way for us to proceed will be.

Thank you in advance for anything you might have to say. This forum has been a fantastic source of information for a while now.

AutumnalTone 05-18-2011 05:28 PM

Kegel exercises.

She tones up her muscles and will be able to accomodate each of you without issue.

GroundedSpirit 05-18-2011 06:29 PM

Hey Saevu,

Not to be blunt, but there's a lot more to sex than peni/vag penetration.
Are ALL openings that stretched ? :)
Autumnal hit one tool for helping there. In the meantime, there's lots of things to explore and enjoy. Open your mind. Get creative. It's all fun and the possibilities are almost endless.


Magdlyn 05-18-2011 06:52 PM

How odd. Call me cynical, but I again sense someone with a cuckolding fetish. ("Oh her lover is so huge, I am so small and inadequate!" It's a humiliation thing.)

Womens' vaginas are made to expand and contract to accommodate anything from a finger/tampon to a 10 pound baby. I've had plenty of sex with multiple partners in the same week, from a thick 8 or 9 incher down to a medium thickness 4 1/2 incher... with no difference in my vagina being able to expand or contract to envelope either size penis comfortably and erotically.

Vaginas don't "stretch." If they did, my 10'2" firstborn would've made it impossible for me to keep a tampon in post-pregnancy! I find frequent sex/masturbation keeps my vaginal muscles so toned, I don't need to do Kegels. I can get tight enough when I cum to pull a condom right off! I need to be careful sometimes, heh.

nycindie 05-18-2011 07:38 PM

Yeah, I call (possible) bullshit on the original post.

NeonKaos 05-18-2011 07:46 PM

It doesn't have any of the characteristics of spam, other than the title. But it is odd to see something like this as someone's very first post. They usually introduce themselves and THEN talk about their penis(es) in another thread.

So, OP, are you for real, or are you messing with us? Answer, pls.

redpepper 05-19-2011 06:48 AM

so how about don't see him as much and or factor time in after she does see him where you don't have sex. Personally I think buddy would be on his own f it were me... sorry, no pussy for you kind of thing. Maybe I could give in other ways.

That would really be alarming. I can totally see how this would be a very painfully emotional issue. Let us know if she gets back to the original size?


Magdlyn 05-19-2011 12:39 PM


Originally Posted by redpepper (Post 82231)
Let us know if she gets back to the original size?



saevuscorvax 05-19-2011 03:27 PM

Wow. This is not a cuckolding situation. It is not a matter of physical satisfaction. Some kegel exercise routines and she should be able to have as much sex as she wants, with either of us, without a problem.

It is the emotional wound that has a problem. We are having a really hard time reconnecting with each other. It has left us very tender. We are usually excellent communicators, but our attempts to talk this one out so far haven't worked.

The hurt is coming from the physical inability to please one another. We are both very sexual, physical communicators, so it is almost as if our tongues have been cut out.

Right now the only thing I can think of is let time heal. Spend some time apart. Let us both sort of regroup before approaching each other again - unless anyone has any suggestions on how to go about the conversation.


TruckerPete 05-19-2011 03:34 PM

What about something other than penis/vag? I can think of LOTS of satisfying things to do with other body parts and/or inanimate objects ...

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