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-   -   Introducing polyamory to a relationship (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=9942)

Freedom 05-18-2011 01:20 PM

Introducing polyamory to a relationship
Hi guys, apologies if you have seen these questions a hundred times already.

so basically I think polyamory is the way forward for me and my girlfriend.
however these are the potensial issues I am thinking of.

1) we are both young (23 and 24) and her social conditioning is very conservative. She comes from a very rural area with a catholic upbringing. So even though we have had conversations about polyamory and even though I know she might like the idea it worries me that she will never fully accept it.

2)although she has a gay friend that is in a poly relationship and has talked about how great she thinks it is, im not sure how serious to take this. hetro relationships are different right? what if i offend her by being comfortable with her sleeping with other men/women. I mean she might not think I care about her?

3)i know that although men and women are not natuarally monogamous and i think i am quite comfortable with that fact what happens if i feel differently after she has started to have other partners? whats done will then be done.

any thoughts would be much appreciated.

Somegeezer 05-18-2011 02:10 PM

1 - Me and my partner are younger, but she has already been told about my poly and such. She took it quite hard, because it was something new to her. You say your partner said it was a good idea.

2 - Same sex relationships are only different in anatomy. My partner is bisexual. Being comfortable with someone shouldn't offend them at all. It should make them feel a lot closer to you.

3 - I think monogamy is more natural in the sense that it is the normal thing for people to do these days. Although I don't agree it should be. But people have their own choices. If your partner finds others and you stop being comfortable with it, well that certainly is a shame, but you can't stop it. Nor should you try. But perhaps if that came up, you should talk to her about it and maybe she could make you get your comfort back. If not, then surely it wouldn't be a desirable relationship to stay in. But you could at least salvage a great friendship.

Hope I was any help at all.

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