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-   -   My friend needs someone to talk to (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=9800)

kidsoul 05-13-2011 12:46 AM

My friend needs someone to talk to
 
Howdy folks,

Apologies for a heart weary introduction, and though my heart is heavy, I'll be brief.

I have a very good friend that I care for deeply. We've known each other for 6 years through work, and in the past year (Christmas of 2010) we realized we had intense romantic feelings for each other. At the beginning of this year, she discussed these feelings with her husband, and talked about opening their relationship. She's a 44 year old woman, her husband is 48, I'm a single male 38, and they've been married for over twenty years. None of us has experience with polyamorous relationships. None of us has children.

Long story short--while I enjoy spending time with both of them, the opening process has not been going well.

She's asked me if I know anyone she can talk to, get advice, and listen. She's so despondent and full of rage and sadness. It hurts me to see her this way. My only goal is to connect her to a poly-experienced person who can listen and help her. Not to seek a way to advance any romantic interests.

At the very core, I treasure her as a confidant and the very closest of friends. Are there any members that are willing to talk to her? Or connect her to people in the community that have the time and willingness to listen?

Peace and kindness,
kidsoul

TruckerPete 05-13-2011 12:57 AM

You are certainly in the right place. Encourage your friend to do some reading and she can contact people she feels a connection with. I think most members are willing to lend an ear. :)

She will get the best advice by posting though. You'd be surprised how common your situation is on here, so if she sticks to generalities and talks about emotions rather than lots of specific events, she should be fine.

kidsoul 05-13-2011 02:07 AM

Thank you for you reply! I'll (gently) encourage my friend to join and post here. As she's fond of saying, there's no instruction manual, but it warms my heart to hear you say the our situation is not uncommon.

My fondest hope is that she (all of us for that matter) can find ways to share, communicate, grow and heal in a positive and healthy fashion. Simple wishes, but easier said than done.


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