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-   -   New Mexico (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=97)

River 03-12-2009 06:20 PM

New Mexico
 
Given how few place-based fora there are here, using my city name for a topic probably isn't the best idea. But I'm from Santa Fe. I'm bi-, male, and poly. Hope to meet other poly- folk in my city or nearby.

Dairine 03-23-2009 02:03 AM

HI, I am from the area. My husband and I are looking into the poly lifestyle. We are also looking twards the BDSM lifestyle combined with the poly. I like to meet people from both for good food and friendshp.

River 03-23-2009 03:24 AM

Dairine,

I, personally, don't understand the attraction to the BDSM "lifestyle". Can you explain that so that I might better understand the attraction?

Dairine 03-23-2009 04:06 AM

Attraction to BDSM
 
JRiver,

I can only speak for myself on this subject. If there are others out there who may have input to help, I would appreciate any you could give.

I have always felt drawn to poly even befor I had a name for it. I found I had a heart that was too big and needs that were to varied for just one person to help fulfill.

So, to answer your question, some of my needs tended twards the kinkier side of life. I have always wanted to serve someone who would be responsible for Me, take care of Me, allow Me to be who I Am.

I also have always envisioned hanging and torture of the whiping style. I also have had imaginings of being tied and bound. I always felt safe with these things not scared and harmed.......They always seemed to be what was missing from my life.

These have haunted me since I was a small girl. For as long as I can remember.

Now that I am an adult, I have found a community that is accepting of these things. In fact, like the Poly Community, they encourage communication and honesty among their members. The people involved really do care about the safety and health of those they have around them. They tend to look out for each other.

I think for me, it is the community that I seek and the ability to find the limits of Me. I also really want to build my family in such a way that all parts of Me are taken care of. Some of my needs have to do with taking care of others and serving as they wish me to.

For some, the Poly Community takes care of their needs.....for others, it takes a bit more.

I guess it is the "bit more" that attracts Me to the BDSM lifestyle.

If you have any more questions, please ask...I will answer if I can.

Be well
Dairine

"
I, personally, don't understand the attraction to the BDSM "lifestyle". Can you explain that so that I might better understand the attraction?[/QUOTE]
"

River 05-25-2009 03:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dairine (Post 340)
I also have always envisioned hanging and torture of the whiping style. I also have had imaginings of being tied and bound. I always felt safe with these things not scared and harmed.......They always seemed to be what was missing from my life.

These have haunted me since I was a small girl. For as long as I can remember.

Dairine,

Sorry for taking so long to reply to your reply to my question.

Ordinarily, my way of thinking is such that if anyone told me that they want to be tortured or humiliated..., well, they might want to explore --psychologically-- (as self-inquiry, as psychotherapy, or with friends) why that might be. But it seems that "the BDSM 'community'" thinks me rather silly and old-fashioned in this respect, or perhaps I am just not respectful of diversity? (a strange accusation toward a queer, polyamorous... etc., guy like myself!)

For me? I simply don't get it when it comes to the BDSM scene. It is extremely alien to me. I'm vanilla to the core!

Have you ever had freshly made (home made) vanilla ice cream made with real vanilla beans?! Oh, my, now that's sexy! ;)

Dairine 05-25-2009 07:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JRiverMartin (Post 1378)
Ordinarily, my way of thinking is such that if anyone told me that they want to be tortured or humiliated..., well, they might want to explore --psychologically-- (as self-inquiry, as psychotherapy, or with friends) why that might be. But it seems that "the BDSM 'community'" thinks me rather silly and old-fashioned in this respect, or perhaps I am just not respectful of diversity? (a strange accusation toward a queer, polyamorous... etc., guy like myself!)

For me? I simply don't get it when it comes to the BDSM scene. It is extremely alien to me. I'm vanilla to the core!

Have you ever had freshly made (home made) vanilla ice cream made with real vanilla beans?! Oh, my, now that's sexy! ;)


JRiver,

I have done quite a bit of inner exploration where this topic is concerned and I have several theories as to why I have this need....but it basically comes down to some tall psychological walls that I need to scale/breach to do some intense inner healing.

I have a place where trusting anyone is very difficult. (mind you this is just one example)....To be made helpless and be hurt by someone, (mind you in a safe environment that appears dangerous at the least) and then cared for and shown that it really is safe, would go along ways towards opening that door and letting me clean out the closet of head monsters hiding in it.

For me this is a journey of inner healing.

As for vanilla icecream....home made? Is there any other kind?

River 05-25-2009 09:30 PM

Dairine,

Wow! I'm impressed. And now it isn't so very difficult to understand as it had been. Seems to me that most of us have "head monsters" of various sizes and degrees of scaryness.... I know I've got some! I support you and encourage you in getting to know them and evolving larger than they.

Warmth and tenderness to you. And thanks!

River

Dairine 05-26-2009 06:03 AM

River,

Thank you. I am glad that I could help you understand.

I have a friend and mentor that has some very strange needs that I have trouble wrapping my mind around.....But, when I look at it from the perspective I have just explained, I can at least accept it. I still don't quite understand, but, I can accept.

Peace be with you my friend and if Ican help in anyway again, please just ask.

Namaste

River 09-23-2009 08:49 PM

Any other NM poly folk out there?

AlmaMay 10-20-2009 04:37 AM

Trying to find poly community in New Mexico
 
This is my first post on this site. I've tried emailing the websites for newmexico listed in LOVING MORE magazine, but i received no reply.

I'm bi and happily married to a man in albuquerque. He's supporting the awakening of my poly-self. So looking to find community support here.

Thanks to other New Mexican Poly's.


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