Polyamory.com Forum

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-   -   New to this site and the life (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=953)

JazzListener 10-14-2009 02:59 AM

New to this site and the life
 
It's funny, I always had musings in my mind of a relationship with two others. I always thought that my Bi-Sexuality would best be served by being with a couple. I always thought it was just a fantasy. I figured people just wanted to be with one person or lots of different people. I never knew, until yesterday, that there were people and societies that practiced loving, caring, honest relationships with more than two people in one household. I am blown away. I can't say for sure, but, this may be something I have been looking for. We all have many friends so that we can get a variety of needs from many. One friend may be the emotional friend and one may be the practical one. We have a circle of friends to satisfy all of our needs. Why can't love exist under the same precepts?
So here I am. I am exploring "The Life" so that I can see if it is something I really want, and if there is a place for me here.

LovingRadiance 10-14-2009 04:59 AM

Welcome!

JazzListener 10-14-2009 01:48 PM

Thanks
 
Thank you for the 'Welcome'. Have a great day.

alaskababe 10-15-2009 04:26 AM

Different Loves for Different Needs
 
I think that says it all. You can not have all your needs met by one person. Whether it's your friends or lovers. My husband is my rock and always in my corner for family and work issues. My boyfriend is also my rock but has different perspective and outlook on happenings in my life, so I get two opinions on how to live my life and advice to take. Sometimes I listen to one or the other, but the choice is mine to make. The only drawback sometimes is they agree and gang up on me. Usually when I want something not practical or slightly dangerous. ( Like shopping in Mexico ) I do have to agree with them on that one.

My husband says, his girlfriend also says the same things I do to him and he says see you are alike. He is right about that. We are very similiar in attitude and outlook on life. As are my two men, they are dependable and solid people who care about me. What more can you ask for?

Just go slow and let it happen naturally and always be honest with new people in your life who may become close friends/lovers. When you get to a point you will know its time to tell them. (The ideal time is before anyone gets too close or falls in love) I think its easier to tell a new friend right off the bat and then let them decide for themselves if they want to go further in learning more about your life style. Their eyes are wide open then and they will not feel ambushed or tricked after they develop major feelings for you. I was glad I did it this way with my boyfriend as he had no experience with loving two people. He is very mono in his relationships.

Open and honest talking and lots of it will make things smoother and more comfortable for all involved. If someone new can't talk openly about this, that is the red flag that it won't be successful.

MonoVCPHG 10-15-2009 04:29 AM

Welcome to the forums!!

foxflame88 10-15-2009 11:58 AM

Welcome!

JazzListener 10-15-2009 01:56 PM

Thanks Alaska,
Your words have helped. Not knowing much about this lifestyle, yet, has made it difficult to know what to say and how. Knowing that someone else in 'The Life' sees it similarly to my perception of it, helps me gain momentum. Perhaps I am on-track to understanding it all. Thank you for your frankness and openness.
Can you tell me, are there any other places on teh net like this one, but, set up more for socializing, maybe even live chats to discuss this and get more info in real time? Thank you in advance for any insights you may have.

River 10-15-2009 03:47 PM

Welcome!

There are lots of sites on the internet about polyamory, as you may know. Any search engine (e.g., www.google.com) should be helpful. I'm unaware of any well-frequented live chat sites. Maybe we could figure out how to add one here at www.polyamory.com ? Hmm.

MonoVCPHG 10-15-2009 04:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by River (Post 9052)
Maybe we could figure out how to add one here at www.polyamory.com ? Hmm.

That would make for some very entertaining sessions! Nice to hear from you River :)

LovingRadiance 10-15-2009 08:12 PM

live chat
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by River (Post 9052)
Welcome!

There are lots of sites on the internet about polyamory, as you may know. Any search engine (e.g., www.google.com) should be helpful. I'm unaware of any well-frequented live chat sites. Maybe we could figure out how to add one here at www.polyamory.com ? Hmm.

THAT would rock River.


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