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-   -   Feeling complete (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=9429)

Masquerade78 04-30-2011 11:09 PM

Feeling complete
 
Hi - I'm a 33yo married mother of two. My husband and I speak openly about my desires to be involved with someone outside our marriage. Whilst we've considered the whole swinging, FWB, f-buddy scenarios, I know I am wanting something more permanent and meaningful. My husband has no desire to have any relations outside our marriage but he does get a kick from seeing me with another man. For me, it's not just about the physical side of things, but very much about the emotional side too. Yes, I love the thrill of feeling wanted, the escapism of somebody new and the butterflies in my stomach but it's more than that. It's about feeling complete when experiencing the connection and affections with this other person. I feel that I have so much love to give, it doesn't fit into one pot. I don't want to lose this other person, nor make him feel he's being strung along, nor prevent him from finding happiness with someone else. I wonder whether a poly relationship could work - my husband knows how I feel, but I don't know if the other person could handle sharing me on a permanent basis. I guess as always communications the key but when I think how easy it could all be in my head, it doesn't at all seem that way ..... I love my husband as a person, but I'm wondering if I just want to have my cake and eat it. I love my husband more when he accepts how I feel about the other person - I wish it was more black and White x

ImaginaryIllusion 05-01-2011 07:50 PM

Welcome to the Forum.

Castalia 05-12-2011 09:40 PM

if only love didn't feel so complicated, most of us have had monogamy drilled so deeply into us that any alternative makes us feel selfish or wrong. it takes great courage for everyone outside the "norm" to admit it and even more strength to live a life that is our own. besides why have the cake at all if you're not allowed to eat it:p

as someone who only recently has truly admitted who i am and what i want in life i've found two quotes very reassuring.

"Well behaved women rarely make history." Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
"Every women is a rebel, and usually in wild revolt against herself." Oscar Wilde

bitterborn 05-13-2011 09:56 AM

Masq,

<3 You are as normal as my M. The first part where you describe the excitement of the chase would have fit her quite well before R. Now that she has both of us she has changed. She is fufilled (or maybe tired) and has no desire for anyone but us two. Strange maybe but she is HAPPILY monogamous to two men. (I know mono is one, but bigamous is something entirely diff)

evrchanging 05-13-2011 08:45 PM

I know how you feel on the love flowing over part. You can read my intro to see where I am coming from. Right now I am doing well with another relationship. It is complicated and so grey, I am new to it too.

Masquerade78 05-14-2011 12:27 AM

Waaaaaaaaa if you look at my 'so much love to give, it doesn't fit into one pot' threadon the new to polyamory link, you'll see I'm very confused right now :-S


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