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-   -   Imagine your ideal relationships. (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=923)

greenearthal 10-10-2009 02:52 PM

Imagine your ideal relationships.
Even if it's just a description of the relationship you're in now. Try to imagine and articulate what would be nirvana for you. For fun.

MonoVCPHG 10-10-2009 06:44 PM

People are viewing this but no one is speaking..hmmmm...interesting.

Notice how I'm not saying anything either ;)

NeonKaos 10-10-2009 06:53 PM


Originally Posted by MonoVCPHG (Post 8668)
People are viewing this but no one is speaking..hmmmm...interesting.

Notice how I'm not saying anything either ;)

You just did say something.

I don't have an "ideal" relationship, but I'm pretty satisfied with the husband I have right now. If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

Although it is nice to know that if one of us ever wants to see someone else, it doesn't mean our marriage is over.

Ceoli 10-10-2009 06:55 PM

I'm honestly still thinking this one over.

NeonKaos 10-10-2009 06:58 PM


MonoVCPHG 10-10-2009 07:13 PM


Originally Posted by Ceoli (Post 8671)
I'm honestly still thinking this one over.

I honestly spend more time thinking about what I think Redpepper wants than what I want. I like to project that kind of stuff, get all wrapped up in it, freak out, and then let her slap me back to the reality that I actually don't know what she really wants :)

Tia 10-10-2009 08:12 PM

100% unconditional love in all directions, and lots of laughing :)

greenearthal 10-10-2009 08:37 PM

I dislike (and am often confused by) the categorization of relationships. So many of the categorizations seem arbitrary and/or imprecise and I would just as soon live without them and just see relationships as a spectrum and let them find their own level and mutually agreed upon rules.

For example, the fiact that there aren't (m)any words for the relationships that exist between "friend" anf "boy/girlfriend". I would like to figure out what that word is, and then I would like to have some. Friends that you find attractive, might go on dates with, might even make out with, that you might have full on intimate relationships with if circumstances were different, but with whom you are just content to exchange backrubs with and remind one another that you are attractive and wonderful and such. I wish more people found that to be a natural way to exist and that such relationships were available in abundance.

And then, I would really love to have a full and intimate network of relationships between four or six folks. An even number because I have this (admittedly possibly irrational) desire for perfect gender balance. I am cisgendered and heterosexual myself but have no attachment to any specific orientation for the others, but I like the idea of defacto polyfidelity (polyfidelity born of mutual agreement that we simply wouldn't have enough time to invite any more full relationships), and I have a sentimental favoritism for the idea of cross couples (gender balance of some sort).

And if we're REALLY going to indulge our fantasies (I hope we are) I would say that I would love to be part of a nomadic tribe or some such. Two or three bands on tour or some other form of wandering entertainment or intentional community that just had a very free vibe to it and a subset of polyamorous population within it... in which I might find conditions satisfying both preceeding paragraphs. And an opportunity to raise families in such a Bohemia. That would be just about perfect to me. I'm kind of an odd duck I suppose.

ladyjools 10-12-2009 11:51 PM

this is an intresting question

my idea relationship(s) would be with people that are open to personal development and polyamoury in general, with partners that i don't have to convince to live this way of life but who embrace it with the same enthusiasm that i do!

at the moment i am a very very lucky girl in fact that i have 3 male partners all off whom i care for deeply,
in ideal world, in future i see us all living together in one big house, and i am open to them having more than just me, i want them to experience as much love as i do,

i want relationships that are both supportive and challanging,
and of course it is always nice if the 3 of them get on well


LovingRadiance 10-13-2009 04:05 AM

I'm not particular about numbers or gender.

But in my ideal world there wouldn't be limitations on my freedom to love and for others to love me.
I would be free to show my affection as I felt inclined, instead of worrying about "time and place" and others wouldn't second guess my devotion-they would inherently know that yes I do love and cherish ALL of my partners without inhibition.

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