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-   -   Back and worried (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=8546)

lovinhimloviner 04-08-2011 02:22 AM

Back and worried
I have been in a poly relationship for less than a year. My husband fell in love several months back and I was so happy for him. I felt like I could finally tell him something that had been bothering me for a couple of years. I felt he would finally understand it is possible to love 2 people at the same time. I finally broke down one night and told him I was in love with our best friend. He said he already knew and that it would be hard for him to deal with. He said he needed time and to understand he will have his moments.
That weekend he broke things off with his gf. Nothing was said for awhile and I thought he forgot about it. I still hadn't said anything to our friend about how I felt about him. It was hard sitting in the same room with both of them, I guess it still is. I'm afraid to look at him or talk to him in front of my H. Then H met someone and asked if it was alright if he stayed the night at her house. It was fine with me of course but he left me and J at the house alone. We sat and watched a movie then H messaged me and tole me to have fun. I asked if he was sure and he said he was. J and I had a great night and slept in the same room. Less than a week later he asked if he could stay again. He gave us permission to sleep together this time. That was very hard for him. I might not of told J how I felt about him but I could help but feel it when we were together.
This last weekend we had a blow up and it turned out it all stemmed from us sleeping together. He told me it was probably better if I told J what was going on. So I sat him down and just told him how I felt. I thought he was going to cry. He said he had waited so long to hear those words. He loved me to. I was so worried it would turn out different. The rest of the weekend was hard. No one talked or looked at each other. H was angry and J was in tears thinking he came between us.
The next day all was well again. It was like it never happened. H doesn't want to talk about it or see it. He promises me that it will all be ok and he will come around. I am trying to give him time and let him deal with it himself but I worry I told J and got both of our hopes up.
Has anyone been through this before?

redpepper 04-08-2011 09:00 PM

This isn't an unusual situation. Have a read around here to get an idea of what this site is about and about other peoples experiences. You are not alone, poly dynamics often take time and there is often a lot of emotion to wade through.

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