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-   -   Morningglory's Awakening (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=8492)

Morningglory629 04-06-2011 07:12 AM

Morningglory's Awakening
Some of you may not know me, but most do, as I have been a participating member off and on for over a year now. At various times this forum has been a source of great interest, new knowledge, intrigue, comfort, alot of laughter, sadness, FRUSTRATION, anger, resentment, acceptance, judgement, opinion, folly....but most importantly it has been a place of LDR in friendships. ;) I honestly get so much from each of you...even the annoying blatherers (if you get a tingling feeling in your belly, I may be talking about you:p) Ya know I love you!
But seriously, I am beginning this blog...after many months of hesitation because I think it is time. Time to purge, vent and share. I am not really looking for advice.:rolleyes: I have received so much over these months, but I of course invite opinion. And I don't mind a heated debate as long as you are ready for it too. I ask that some people refrain from personal and more importantly uninformed attacks on me, my husband, KT and most importantly 2Rings.
He gets beat-up enough on here, and for the most part that is because you do not know him personally, and there have been some slightly askew renditions of the truth as they say. :( Anyway, he is an amazing man: strong in every sense, talented, resourceful, hysterically funny, trustworthy(everyone who knows and loves this man, knows he is the most honest and reliable person you will meet-EVERYONE), attentive, a wonderful and devoted father, a loyal son and brother, sexy as all getout and so much more. He is the go-to-guy at work, home and church; and if you ever came across him as a stranger you would end up telling him your life's story. He is absolutely the best listener. He will do what it takes to make things better. He is a do-gooder in the best sense. That's how I fell in love with him. From a distance, observing and admiring from afar. I call him my confessor, my lover, my friend and MY soulmate. I never thought they existed until him. So I may be sensitive if there are any attacks on my love on THIS blog. So, fair warning to the powers that be, I would prefer the moderator be a silent partner and wait for a signal to jump in when I need it. Obviously the usual rules apply. With that being said, here we go....

Quick background: I am American, Irish-Catholic by birth, born into a blended family of sorts...to my mother, I am her middle child, to my father I am his first-born. I am an Aries. So if that gives you any indication of my nature...it is that of the quintessential hell-child, alpha-girl, red lipstick-wearin tomboy and daddy's little girl. I grew-up in a working class neighborhood, one of seven children in the household-4 siblings, two cousins (whose mother died when they were young children) and me; and I love those roots. I could never imagine living anywhere that wasn't a city. No suburban dream for me ever existed. I like knowing my neighbors, having the corner store and being part of a vibrant, multi-generational, diverse community. I have a huge extended family, and we are close and in eachothers' business. I have been very involved in my civic community, and politics has been both a pasttime and occupation for much of my life.... both sides of the aisle so to speak, leaning more right than left. We are a "union house" but I would say that it doesn't always dictate my political views. As I said my family is Irish, and as you may know it is "the land of saints and scholars" ...so we THINK we're experts on most things, have definite opinions about EVERYTHING and have no qualms about communicating those opinions whether through debate, a joke, a story, a song or a brawl. It all comes out in the wash.
So I grew-up as I did in the typical way...close-knit family, Catholic schools (uniforms and all), college(which I did not finish after third year- hence the reason I returned to university later in life as most of you know), spent my wayward youth seeking carnal knowledge of men, drinking,travelling a bit and learning about life. I worked a number of different jobs and occupations all of which taught me a bit more about myself. Some exciting, some...not so much.
As rebellious as I thought I was, and sexually adventurous as I thought I was,
I have to say I NEVER heard about polyamory until 2Rings told me about it in early 2009. He had told me about this forum, and it took me a few months-actually at the urging of KT to actually log-on to this site. There was something about finding a term for it that made me think...huh, maybe it wasn't that I wasn't able to find true love in that wayward youth, but rather I found it all the time and just couldn't rectify the "more than one" concept. So I lurked a bit on here, and I am glad I did.
(ok, it's really late...like 3am. I promise to blog more and continue this intriguing story:rolleyes:...yes that is sarcasm! :eek: TTYL.

Karma 04-06-2011 10:10 AM

Hey dear, glad to see you back on here :)

Morningglory629 04-06-2011 04:02 PM


Originally Posted by Karma (Post 74976)
Hey dear, glad to see you back on here :)

Thank you! But I have been on and off here all along. This is just my first forray into full on personal blog thread. YIKES!

Okay to continue....being a recovering CSG (cath school girl), I can look back on those days and realize alot of my stuff-and by stuff I mean insecurity, destructive behaviors and issues with trust- has to do with the guilt I felt as a young woman who liked sex as much as the boys but had to wait for the overtures...know what I mean? Started kinda late in sexual relationships. 17. Is that old or normal for first time?I
Oh jeez someone just came into the house....
I need to continue this later. UGH!

sage 04-07-2011 12:54 AM

Hey, just posting so that I am subscribed and get keep up when you come back. :)

MonoVCPHG 04-07-2011 03:04 AM

Glad you started a blog MG :) Looking forward to seeing more of your inner workings...errr did that sound right? :eek:

LovingRadiance 04-07-2011 03:20 AM


Originally Posted by MonoVCPHG (Post 75150)
Glad you started a blog MG :) Looking forward to seeing more of your inner workings...errr did that sound right? :eek:

Nope. That sounded delightfully wrong... hehehehe.... for a MONO guy!!!

Morningglory629 04-07-2011 02:43 PM


Originally Posted by monovcphg (Post 75150)
glad you started a blog mg :) looking forward to seeing more of your inner workings...errr did that sound right? :eek:


Morningglory629 04-07-2011 04:17 PM

And again...
So my house is Grand Central Station...may as well insert my domestic situation here before we go back to my earlier history.

I am married and have four children. I met my husband in July of 1990. We started dating in November of that year(yes, I was in another relationship when we met :eek: ). It was an LDR for my husband and I for most of 1991 after he moved back to Ireland. I visited in September of 1991 and stayed. He proposed at Christmas. We married the following October 1992. It wasn't supposed to be until the following summer but Mother Nature and Immigration had a different agenda. I was pregnant with twins. He had a bit of "political" history so it was pedal to the metal to get the process through Immigration before legislation was changed in US (which we knew was coming down the pike because of a close friend in Congress). Not that I would have objected to living in Ireland. On the contrary. But I just wanted to be with my family as a pregnant 23yo with no idea as to how I was going to deal with TWO babies. Going from zero to two and a husband was quite the adjustment to my independent, curious and wandering nature. But we will talk about that later.

So yes, I have been with hubs and married for most of my life. I have been a mother for most of my life. And I would not change those facts, they are part of who I am. Well, I might change the married part...I think I probably wouldn't mind a domestic situation with hubs without the conventionality of marriage...poly is not generally accepted even by one's own loved ones when there is a piece of paper that says I am contracted out to only one. But then again...I have always been one to buck the system. It's the Ram in me. :p
And that is not to say hubs is the one with the major problem with poly. Exact opposite. Not sure if it is his European liberalism on most social issues, or what but he has been surprisingly well-adjusted to this change in our dynamic. There are very few outbursts or ripples in the water about 2Rings. We have our other outbursts completely separate from poly, but not a whole lot of resistence from him about me being in another sexual/love relationship. Strange for a mono. But he has stated on numerous occassions that he is not interested in seeking another companion. His policy of DADT about my sexual practices with 2Rings is for his own protection according to him, and quite honestly it is appreciated. Other than knowing the basics of who, where and when will I be home, he doesn't seem to have the need to know. He is a thoroughly well-adjusted mono living with a poly wife. Maybe for other reasons, but jealousy hasnt been an issue. more on him later.
My kids...

Morningglory629 04-07-2011 05:12 PM

My kids are wonderful creatures with whom I am in love. They challenge me daily but I really dig them. Honestly...no joke. They are all teenagers (the twins are actually adults now) and piss me off on a regular basis for the usual teen behaviors. But, they are all so different and compliment eachother in a really (ok this may sound a bit hippy, huggy, syrupy gross) harmonious way. NOT TO SAY MY HOUSE IS 24/7 Disney perfect! Oh hell no! It is raucous much of the time and there are real feuds that happen over who wore who's hoodie. However, they are friends and not just siblings. For example, 3 nights a week both my husband and I work the same evenings. In our house everyone sits down together at dinner, shares the meal at home and talks about the happenings, news, gossip of the day. Very often I will check in on those days, and barring any one of them at work or practice, they are all there together doing the same thing- passing of the phone corroborates this practice when I am not there. Now...whether or not they are all eating in front of the TV when I call, the fact is they are all together and that means something. Another example, my eldest daughter went to a prom last year, and normally my brood often attend the same social gatherings because of their closeness in age and shared friends: parties, dances, games etc; last Spring her siblings didn't attend the same prom. Eldest daughter is my Diva and she is a social butterfly and quite happily independent...but she came home and said "it was fun, but it wasn't the same without my brother and sisters. They bring the party with them!" The mommy in me did a little dance inside when she said that because I honestly expect Diva to be the one that moves furthest away from Homebase.

So in a nutshell we are a very close family...practices passed on from both my husband and I and our upbringings.

Poly and my kids. This is a weird subject, and I am not 100% sure why. They are old enough to have conversations about love and sex with hubs and me. We talk openly and often about various subjects with them: sexuality of all types, STDs, pregnancy, abortion, body image, peer-pressure, effects of drug/alcohol use, etc . Always have. Hubs and I have always been affectionate in front of them. No body consciousness issues...while there is no nudist camp going-on, I have never been one to institute any "absolutely no skin is to be seen" doctrines. Strange practices for Catholics I know...but I never wanted them to have hang-ups or fear about talking on these subjects. Half the problem with the world is misinformation! And there is no hubs talks to the boy and I talk to the girls. Gender roles/identity and interaction have been fluid from the get-go. Hubs and I are both responsible for how they identify and relate to others. Right? Anyway, they are just really cool kids who aren't afraid to talk to adults and can pretty much talk on any subject under the sun...of course if it comes to technology and higher realms of Mathematics I am out of that loop. They are lightyears ahead of me! LOL!

So why the trepidation about the subject of poly? No idea. I have skimmed the subject with each of them individually. We have books about the house on open marriage, and alternative lifestyles. My kids are readers so I am sure they have poked around a bit. Recently, after a particularly nasty argument between hubs and I, I realized I have not touched enough on the subject nor have I shared my personal beliefs on it with them. My youngest daughter (14) asked if the conversation I had with her last year about the possibility of loving two or more people in a romantic way, was me telling her I was going to split-up with her dad, and move-in with 2Rings and away from her. I of course reassured her that it was not the case. That if for whatever reason her dad and I were arguing, and if those reasons were enough for a split then it had nothing to do with lack of love. That I would always love her dad. That she was always my priority. And that a divorce does not mean the end of a relationship, it just means there is a change in the dynamic of the relationship. I didn't tell her that 2Rings and I were lovers. I told her that he is very close to me, that we love eachother and will always be friends. I kind of left it at that. She seemed to be ok and relieved that her living situation wasn't changing in the near future, that hubs and I love eachother, and it was ok for 2Rings to be in her life too. I relayed the story to hubs. He was surprised she even mentioned 2Rings, as the argument wasn't about him at all. So weird. But a telling sign that I need to talk a bit more to them.
There were other conversations with the other children over the course of these last few months but I will continue later. I have to get ready for a Women in Politics class tonight. UGH! Some professors can take an interesting subject and lecturize the sh*# out of it, making it absolutely horrendous to listen to with endless statistics and monotonous irrelevent minutia!

Morningglory629 04-08-2011 12:48 AM

where was I?
Oh yeah domestic situation...
In addition to my kids, my elderly parents live with me. Not that they are invalids, but they both have had some serious medical issues (heart attacks, bypass, cardiac stents, diabetes, hip replacement, knee repalcements and bouts with cancer); and so they live with me just because it is better for all. This is a two-fold challenge.
1) I bought their home 12 years ago when dad retired and they moved to Florida for half the year, and used Homebase for the other half of the year. Not a problem and it was a welcomed arrangement to have them there when I worked. But they often forget it isnt their home so to speak as in ownership- and get quite ornery when we disturb their routines or change the house in any way

2) Privacy is a major issue- and there is never a time when there isn't someone at home.

My dad is a retired cop, mom still works parttime at the local pharmacy and is a senior liason for our local state rep. SO they are quite active. Dad usually occupies his day with visits to a couple of friends, diners and taking my son to practice. He begrudgingly will attend the girls games, practices, activities, shows; but he happily attends to my boy. Ok fair enough whatever makes him happy. The girls tease him all the time about being like Archie Bunker. Mom is and has always been a neatfreak, and organizational nazi. I take after her as far as cleaning- 2Rings teases me because I love the smell of Murphy's Oil Soap and Clorox too. I am not very good at organizing- so it is clean chaos.
Anyway, yeah so my parents are a big part of my daily life.

To recap: I work fulltime, go to school parttime, clean and cook for 8 in my household and have both a husband and bf...plus I keep in touch with friends, have girls night at least once a month (which KT was part of last month) and love being involved in various community/church activities although that has taken a major back-burner position in the last 2 years.

Busy MG. No wonder this blog took forever in being started. I've gotta network on FB too! LOL!

At this point ask any questions...tomorrow I will go back to my ideas on poly, my past etc. I am going to lurk for a bit tonight and may post on a few other threads.

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