My loves story
I've never had much faith in monogamy. My heart has always been so full on love and energy that I've felt I've been selling myself short when I've been in a monogamous relationship. But dealt with it in my own way of either being faithful or developing what might be thought of as inappropriate relationships with others.
Flash forward to a few years ago... I fell in love with one of my best friends. It happened over a few years and came to fruition when my husband and two other couples (including the friend, whom we will call "A" and his wife). We were celebrating new year's eve and I was permitted by my husband (whom I will refer to as "J") to kiss A. The sparks were intense and ur true feelings were revealed. We realized that we were in love and both had been pulling away from our spouses for various reasons...bur A's wife (I will call her J2) was totally not happy with the thought of us even kissing. Unfortunately, neither of us could respect her wishes at the time and started seeing each other on the sly...big mistake.
....to be continued soon....
Our relationship progressed and my husband and I really delved into the fact that I had always been non-monogamous but had wanted to be married to him because he and I had a connection stronger than any I had experienced before. I suppose that it should have been a topic of discussion prior to our marriage, but I had decided that I was going to be mono to make our marriage work... but it was around the night of the "kiss that changed everything" that I realized I did not have a MONO heart.
Things got really intense with A, and I found myself having a hard time balancing my relationships with both A and J. My feelings for A were just so powerful and J was being crazy and having problems with his mood disorder and so I gravitated to A...and he was having problems with his wife, and he gravitated to me. It was an intense love, unlike anything I had experienced before and it was this incredible feeling.... but I found myself struggling to really balance the emotions between the two and it began to frustrate both of us. However, over time, things started to normalize... until it was time for A to leave for his next duty station. I was heartbroken but after awhile, I realized that I had to break up with him because he wasn't interested in continuing to share me...
....to be continued...
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