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-   -   Do I qualify as a unicorn hunter? (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=8108)

polynome 03-23-2011 10:03 PM

Do I qualify as a unicorn hunter?
 
So reading up about the issues have me a bit on the fence about whether I'm chasing unicorns or not. Here's the gist:

While we're not pursuing anything actively right now because my wife is beginning a new relationship, I am extremely excited at the thought of going on a date with a woman as a couple. I know that a bisexual girl interested in a polyamorous couple is a "unicorn" but I don't think I have quite the stringent requirements of most.

I'd be open to this theoretical woman being more interested in one of us or the other for a relationship though I hope she'd be open to some fun in the bedroom involving both of us. I'm open to both serious and casual relationships for either of us, and don't have any interest in forcing a relationship where none exists. I'm just very thrilled at the idea of being on a date with a woman and seeing her giving eyes to my wife, or to me, or both of us, but enjoying that together.

So give me the honest truth: am I seeking something rare enough to qualify as unicorn hunting or do I perhaps squeeze my way into the general poly population on this one?

Ariakas 03-23-2011 10:14 PM

If you wanted her to only commit to you, then yes that would quality. Unicorn hunting is a small subset of poly for the record. :).. not a working requirement haha

Welcome to the world of poly :D... and enjoy its a fun ride.

magikman79 03-23-2011 10:14 PM

unicorn
 
We feel the same, but I still call it a unicorn, because I don't think it's going to be an easy search.

polynome 03-23-2011 10:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ariakas (Post 72513)
If you wanted her to only commit to you, then yes that would quality. Unicorn hunting is a small subset of poly for the record. :).. not a working requirement haha

Welcome to the world of poly :D... and enjoy its a fun ride.

Do you mean commit to my wife and I or commit to me? I guess either way the answer is no, I wouldn't expect anyone who is involved with my wife and/or I to forsake all others. Polyfidelity is something that could conceivably happen for us in the right circumstances but I don't think it very likely.

Ariakas 03-23-2011 10:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by polynome (Post 72517)
Do you mean commit to my wife and I or commit to me? I guess either way the answer is no, I wouldn't expect anyone who is involved with my wife and/or I to forsake all others. Polyfidelity is something that could conceivably happen for us in the right circumstances but I don't think it very likely.

Then lets just say you are not 100% unicorn hunting. By definition its a committed thing. Thats what makes them so difficult to find. :)...

I would still say you are unicorn hunting though, your unicorn isn't as rare as some :)

NeonKaos 03-23-2011 10:25 PM

"Unicorn" is a metaphor for an unrealistic idealization.

Simply the desire to form a FFM triad does not a unicorn-hunter make.

BlackUnicorn 03-24-2011 02:01 PM

Unicorn, aka Hot Bi Babe or HBB, is a single bisexual (and hot!) woman who is looking to form a polyfi triad with an existing male-female couple, most often a married one. Unicorns are easygoing partners because they don't have any needs of their own in what comes to a relationship. They are totally happy to hang on to whatever nuggets of love and affection the original couple fish out their way. They are not usually very old and hence might have economic issues, and they are only too happy to move in with the couple in very early stages of the relationship. And of course they are willing to help around the house and with kids and whatnots, after all, they are getting free room and board.

Should somebody ask, unicorn is the live-in nanny/struggling student renting a room. They are never introduced to the family, invited along on social outings or holidays. The original couple maintains primacy and social approval, whereas the unicorn has to face constant pity from people who don't know she isn't single and comtempt from people who equate her with a homewrecker. Unicorns don't have kids because that would seriously mess up the dynamics. They can help bring up the original couple's kids, of course with no legal rights to them whatsoever. Unicorns are also easily disposable should they become cumbersome or needy. If something goes wrong in the relationship, it is the unicorn who isn't emotionally mature enough/doesn't respect the original couple/doesn't know how to share/is needy/is clingy/is unavailable/isn't committed enough etc.

Unicorn care is easy as long as you remember a few easy rules;
1) Original couple goes first. Always.
2) Unicorns are not really people, they are emotional and sexual resources to the original couple. Sex is only allowed in threesomes, and no individual relationships between the unicorn and either member of the couple should ever develop as not to threaten the cohesion of the original couple (see point 1).
3) If something's not working, play the 'How can you not be grateful for all we have done for you?' card with your unicorn, and if that isn't enough to scare her off, call her a homewrecker.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

The above is a completely satirical account of what gives the term 'unicorn' or 'unicorn-hunting' such a bad aftertaste to some people in the poly community, and is in no way meant to reflect on what people seeking committed triads are actually like.

Ariakas 03-24-2011 03:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlackUnicorn (Post 72641)
The above is a completely satirical account of what gives the term 'unicorn' or 'unicorn-hunting' such a bad aftertaste to some people in the poly community, and is in no way meant to reflect on what people seeking committed triads are actually like.

hahaha... that needs to be stickied somewhere. Quite funny BU hahaha

NeonKaos 03-24-2011 03:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ariakas (Post 72654)
hahaha... that needs to be stickied somewhere. Quite funny BU hahaha



it basically covers the same territory as Franklin's flow chart, which is linked to many times over already, so I'm not going to put another one.

redpepper 03-24-2011 03:50 PM

That's awesome BU, I akin unicorn to a dog most of the time. They are expected to sit at the feet of their owners and wait for scraps, get pets on the head, are left at home when the family goes out and if they are too much trouble they are taken to the pound. They aren't so much unicorns after they have been found... they turn into puppies.

:p;) again, sarcasm. :D


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