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-   -   A Bit Too Late (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=8088)

IPlaySupport 03-23-2011 03:48 AM

A Bit Too Late
 
Hey everyone,

I'm finally posting here at the end of my first and only poly relationship. I'm dealing with some deep hurt and a fair amount of anger. Not to mention crushing disappointment.

I'm not sure what my intentions are in signing up for this place. Maybe just to feel a little less alone in my loss? Few people seem to be able to fully grasp the kind of thing I'm going through.

So, on that high note, I say hello.

bella123456 03-23-2011 03:59 AM

Hello back and welcome :)

Sorry to hear of such pain...

Best of luck with your healing, healing generally brings with it some valuable lessons - So I hope there's some growth and insight gained for you..

Feel free to share, or not - there's some lovely people here !

IPlaySupport 03-23-2011 05:37 AM

Thank you.

AprilLove 03-23-2011 01:43 PM

(((hugs)))

Welcome. I too am dealing with the same issues at the moment. Feel free to share.

breathrider 05-03-2011 03:01 AM

Sorry to hear about all your loss. I am about 8 months out from a similar situation and I still have difficult days. Would love to learn more and share stories...

Erosa 05-03-2011 03:50 AM

Hello and *hugs*

I am sorry to hear that you are coming from a very difficult place right now. I hope that this board will be a source of healing and help to you.

And though you don't know me, feel free to message anytime. I am happy to provide a listening ear and shoulder to cry on.

Ivy 05-03-2011 09:16 PM

Hey there, I'm new too and recovering from the collapse of my first poly relationship. It sucks! But so far, the folks on this board have been extraordinarily kind and helpful, and I'm sure they'll be just as supportive for you. Let me know if you need some commiseration!

IamE 05-04-2011 10:28 PM

Maybe talking about it some, or details if you feel comfortable will help you work through it and us understand. I am just entering my first poly relationship but it has not been with out its own unique "growing pains" and I understand that possibly (like any relationship) there may come a day when it ends I have to deal with that too and it will be hard. I have been lucky (so far) in that the few friends I have confided in have been supportive -although they dont fully understand, but have been supportive none the less. Not knowing the details of your situation I hope that my reply doesn't "miss the mark" but I hope that even with the pain and anger you feel that you can find memories of the good times as comfort and move on. There is always something to be learned in life about ourselves and others...even when times are hard - the important thing is that you will come out stronger and more aware of yourself at the end and that is a good thing - even if it sucks right now. Best of luck to you.

MrFarFromRight 05-06-2011 12:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by IPlaySupport (Post 72422)
Hey everyone,

I'm finally posting here at the end of my first and only poly relationship. I'm dealing with some deep hurt and a fair amount of anger. Not to mention crushing disappointment.

I'm not sure what my intentions are in signing up for this place. Maybe just to feel a little less alone in my loss? Few people seem to be able to fully grasp the kind of thing I'm going through.

So, on that high note, I say hello.

So does this mean that you're giving up on poly? You're just out of your "first and only poly relationship". Many relationships don't last; many are painful. Was yours painful because it was poly? Are you going to avoid pain by keeping to mono?

It really isn't my intention to under-rate your pain or make fun of your situation. I would like you to put this all into perspective. Just imagine if somebody told you:

"I'm at the end of my first and only relationship. I'm dealing with some deep hurt and a fair amount of anger. Not to mention crushing disappointment.
I'm not sure what my intentions are in telling you all this. Maybe just to feel a little less alone in my loss? Few people seem to be able to fully grasp the kind of thing I'm going through."


Would you shake your head and tell them: "Yeah, relationships really suck! You're better off being alone. Lucky you learned that while you're still young..."

IPlaySupport, maybe poly isn't for you. But it seems - to me - early days to decide that after one failed relationship.

And if you're sure that it was the poly part that was to blame, what are you doing seeking consolation on a poly web-site, hmmmmmm?:rolleyes:

Open the can, spill the beans: there are people on here all too willing to hear and to help (if we can).
[hug]


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