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-   -   Feeling special (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=781)

Ana 09-15-2009 07:46 AM

Feeling special
 
This is a question, probably a stupid one, that relates to my own feelings. Although I have felt drawn to polyamory for most of my life, I find that I like to feel as though there is something that I share with individual partners that I do not share with anyone else, and vice versa, that there are a small set of things that a partner shares with me, but not with anyone else. The potential set of so-called 'special' things ranges from a special look or touch, to a regular walk together, to things like a habit of sharing food in a particular way. Is it consistent with polyamory to have that kind of feeling? Do you real polyamorists have it too?

Regards,
Adulterous Ana

Quath 09-15-2009 01:39 PM

In a sense, each relationship is unique and special. Like when I was in a triad, we would have separate dates because each pair of us had different interests. We would respond to each other differently. So in a sense, I felt the relationship itself was unique enough, which led to different behaviors and mannerisms.

Where it got odd was when one person learned from another and brought it into a relationship. Like I remember once saying, "You never kissed like that before." I knew she must have got that from her girlfriend. But I saw it adding to the relationship because she found out something new she liked.

NeonKaos 09-15-2009 01:48 PM

This just reminded me of something my husband said to me the other day. I mentioned how if one of us had a GF, that I wouldn't want to start out as or even ever expect that it would become a triad, and he said, "I don't think that would happen, since we're not attracted to the same to the same type of woman anyway."

The next day I asked him, what was THAT supposed to mean? He kind of blushed and said could we have this conversation when he wasn't quite so drunk.

I thought it was cute and funny.


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