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-   -   Seattle female... (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=764)

numinous 09-12-2009 04:04 AM

Seattle female...
... seeking fun LOCAL playmates who think outside the box.

I am: sweet, silly, shy, sometimes serious, mostly playful.

Recovering "good girl," living life to the fullest because if you haven't noticed, it's short.

Current activities include:
- Becoming more present.
- Expanding my mind, heart and limits.
- Exploring and embracing creativity, pleasure, shadow and light.
- Collecting as many numinous moments as I can.

For fun:
In no particular order: NYT crossword puzzles (in ink), bad karaoke, roller skating (old school, not inline), dancing, coffee, drinks, exercise. I write one haiku a week, and am relearning the guitar - busking is on my bucket list.

My religion:
Currently developing a meditation practice. I am accepting of all faiths but do not wish to be converted. So, no dogma or fundamentalism please.

Favorite hot spots:
Walking trails, Landmark Theaters (especially Seven Gables and the Neptune), Scarecrow Video, karaoke joints, the beach, Asteroid Cafe, gym. I will travel anywhere, anytime. Have lived in England and Switzerland. Vancouver's a favorite short trip.

Favorite things:
TV: Weeds, Dexter, Daily Show/Colbert Report on the net. Movies: anything with a decent NYT review. Food: Varies from comfort to ethnic. Music: Anything they play on 90.3 kexp. Quotes: "Do one thing everyday that scares you." Eleanor Roosevelt.

Last read:
"Nonviolent Communication" by Marshall B. Rosenberg. It's become a way of life for me. While not exactly required reading, it'll impress me if you take a look at it before we meet.

Who I am:
I tend to look at the big picture, am intuitive, and enjoy imaginative wordplay and most puzzles. If you've memorized any Monty Python or know how to talk like a pirate, that will pique my interest.

My work is pretty serious, at times dealing with matters of life and death. So I try to have as much fun in my free time as possible. I'm not afraid of acting silly or of PDAs; I prefer partners who are comfortable with this.

I am affectionate with those I care about and need to feel a sense of emotional intimacy with my partner. If you are emotionally available, I will meet you as an equal in that space.

I care about some issues very deeply and became very politically active in the last election, on the liberal side of things. My passions move me to action. If you are like-minded, let's talk.

Have taken the MBTI several times and the result is always INFP.

I am full-figured, sensitive, open, enthusiastic, soft and warm. I present as somewhat reserved and ladylike, but I can be a freak in the sheets with the right person(s). *evil grin*

Finally, I am heteroflexible. My primary partner and I currently live separately due to employment logistics. I am open to any poly configuration. Have read both "The Ethical Slut" and "Opening Up" and being ethically polyamorous is something I take very seriously.

If you think we have more things than not in common, let's meet and see what happens.

WaywardDruid 09-12-2009 11:09 PM

Wishing you Welcome and Success in Your Search.


Good Luck.

Just Me,

whirlingdervish 02-16-2010 08:41 PM

What a wonderful description. If I were still on that side of the state I'd make it a point to bring you many fine shrubberies :p

Enjoy delving into the present, that's where all the action is ;)


spodder 02-17-2010 05:42 AM

sleepless in ...lol
well have fun and enjoy along the way

next time your in Vancouver BC

drop us a line where on the sunshine coast so way more relaxed than the fast pace of the city


numinous 12-22-2014 03:13 AM

Wow, things have changed
I guess a lot can happen in 5 years.

I will take a stab at writing a new profile, but will probably leave the original one up or at least archive it because it's a snapshot of who I was then.

For now, a brief update:

I live in Portland now, and I only date women. Specifically butch women.

Obviously I've gone through some changes since 2009. I haven't really considered polyamory or consensual nonmonogamy since I realized I was attracted to women. I'm not really sure why, but it just fell by the wayside.

I've had a lot of adventures since I realized my crushes on women were no fluke. I've heard other people say it feels like you're 14 again, and it's true. And you make all of the same rookie mistakes a 14 year old would make. There has been exhilaration, there's been heartache. Mine and theirs.

I finally got to a place in the past few months where I'm doing Me, practicing self care, taking some risks in other non-dating areas of my life. And that brings me to the present.

I am just starting to date someone whom I already have strong feelings for, and who seems like a much better fit than everyone I've dated so far. I went about "vetting" her in what I think is a very rational, systematic, responsible way. Then, whenever I spent time with her, I gauged how I was feeling about her, me and our potential. I gauged whether I wanted to spend more time with her after each casual meeting out in the community.

So now, we've spent some significant time alone with each other. We've been sexually intimate with each other. Here's the issue (I won't call it a problem):

She wants to be nonmonogamous. And yes, she did disclose this on our first date. And we did discuss it openly. So I rushed home and quickly googled whatever I could find on how to practice ethical polyamory. We looked at it together. All is well and good, right? Wrong. Here's the thing:

I want to be monogamous with her.

And I'm having a hell of a time understanding why, wrapping my mind around it. Not to mention my heart.

- Why was I so willing to be nonmonogamous with men but not women?
- How likely is it to work if one partner is monogamous and the other partner is not? I mean, I know that people do this, so I know that technically it can be done. But how does it really work, on a day-to-day basis? How does the monogamous partner deal with the jealousy and emotions around having a partner who is out having sex with other women? And yes, I know what compersion is.
- How can I get back to that place where I am truly OKAY with it, in my heart. And not just saying I'm OKAY with it, because I don't want to lose this very new, very fragile relationship?

Any help is much appreciated.

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