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-   -   What to talk about? (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=7414)

bkreader 03-03-2011 01:58 AM

What to talk about?
My wife and I recently decided to start talking about having an open marriage. We're still figuring things out, but we're both interested in it. I know that communication is the best way to make any relationship work, and it gets more important the more people are involved. Can anyone suggest specific things to discuss with her?

Derbylicious 03-03-2011 02:42 AM

Start talking about how you'll bring things up with each other when issues come up. Talk about boundaries, starting with what you're both comfortable with right now. Talk about what your expectations of each other are. What are needs that you both need met from each other.

crushed 03-03-2011 03:20 AM

my husband and I began an open marriage a year ago. we have a marriage counselor that deals with polyamorous relationship dynamics and it has been wonderful. You really need to be open and honest and go in to your discussion with a clear mind and heart - not with hurt, jealousy, insecurity so that you can talk level headed.

nycindie 03-03-2011 03:56 AM

Why not buy some books on poly, like Opening Up or Love Without Limits. Take turns reading them, or read them together, and discuss things that pique your curiosity or prompt a strong reaction in you.

redpepper 03-03-2011 06:00 AM

why not read here and see what interests you... do tag searches and see what you find in the tag cloud... look at the thread poly foundations and the other poly lessons we have learned... read about jealousy, communication, boundary negotiation, definitions... really, if you read beyond the thread you started you are bound to come up with something to say....

In no time at all, if you follow this route of "open" you will wish there was some silence! :p

lovemultiplied 03-03-2011 06:53 AM

boundaries/rules... discuss how you'll handle jealousy, manage your time and balance... what you're looking for... what you think a poly relationship can do to enhance... what you want from each other... what happens if/when you fall for someone else (how to maintain the solid primary relationship)... etc....

It's an amazing lifestyle with so much potential for fulfillment and love. :)

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