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-   -   Dating, scheduling, keeping track (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=7163)

nycindie 02-24-2011 10:58 PM

Dating, scheduling, keeping track
Okay, so I am solo and dating.

I just walked past my white board where I make "To Do" lists to myself and saw that I had written the name "Ted" and circled it. I stood and stared. "Ted?" I said to my cat, "Who the hell is Ted?" My cat just blinked at me and then circled around his dish, clearly unconcerned about anything other than his next meal. I racked my brains for a few minutes and could not recall having made any plans with a Ted.

So, I hopped onto to OKCupid and went through my Inbox, where I had to sift through quite a few messages to find him, which I did. Was tricky, 'cause his username just didn't ring a bell, either. Apparently, after re-reading the conversation thread between Ted and me, we are making plans to meet. Good thing I checked. Then I suddenly remembered being excited just last week about meeting Ted. How did I forget?

I then pondered the three or four other guys I've been conversing with there, the two I've met from OKC already (one of whom, Dreamy, I've had a few hot dates with and we are planning to see a movie next week - so it seems to be continuing), my favorite Shorty (met through a friend), reconnecting with my old BF Cranky, and the fact that I'm a free agent now. This all led me to realize that I need to brush up on my Excel skills, 'cause my dating life needs a spreadsheet. And this after I declared wanting a break!

So, I'm just looking for input from those of you who date, go out to meet people, use OKC and other online dating sites, etc. How do you manage the connections you make and prioritize your time? Since I'm on my own, I'm not looking for how to run a household with people living together and chores, but how to schedule and manage outside interests, such as dating. I did search for threads on scheduling and didn't really find what I'm seeking, but don't mind if this gets merged into another relevant thread. This is really more about dating. I am also gearing up for a new project I've got happening now which will demand some career networking in preparation for it, and which will take up lots of my time and energy this year -- so wondering how I balance that with my social life?

I use Google Calendar to a degree, but maybe not well enough. All tips and suggestions welcome! Off to feed the cat now...

Ariakas 02-24-2011 11:03 PM

My social life isn't that busy, but you know, google calendar is a poly persons friend.

You can setup calendars for social, dating, work etc and then look at them all together.

But really, I have a wife and a girlfriend and a busy job. *shrugs*... I don't have much to schedule around haha

First thing I would do is use better naming conventions...;) Ted - okc dude - small descriptor. It would save forgetting who it is :)

Breathesgirl 02-24-2011 11:17 PM

I LOVE Google calendar! I can colour code each calendar, they've got sticker type things as a memory tickler eg. Money bag for pay day. I think I've got about eight calendars going, lol.

It sends you the day's schedule at 5:29 am each and every morning so you can see what you've got planned when you check your morning email :).

I'm not really so busy that I have to try to fit in people, lol. I live with Breathes, date Possibility and have one or two friends I hang out with on occasion, lol. Tuesday is my night with Possibility as Breathes works his second job that night :).

bella123456 02-24-2011 11:21 PM


Originally Posted by nycindie (Post 68119)
Okay, so I am solo and dating.

Me too.
I struggle with an incredibly busy diary...

I use the calender in microsoft office @ my place of work. I sync this to google calander...so I have my schedule available on all my computers (I have 3 in various locations!!)

So, my life depends on outlook/google calender.
Everything is entered...I even schedule my music practice (7.35am - 8.15am daily !!)
I sync the calenders to my cell phone calender/diary, which is set up to remind me of events both 2 hours and 15 mins before the event is scheduled to start..

But yet...sometimes when I hear the reminder going off I find myself thinking - "oh dear, where am I supposed to be and with whom?"

I used to have a seperate system for work and social...but it's more practical using the one system for both..It just means my work colleagues can see my whole life (I'm not bothered by that) - They need to see my calender as they book time with me...

It just means they spend time saying;
"oh...who's Victor?"
"oh, who's Tom?"

And I spend time saying - Yeah...I'm sure I told you about him...
Mind you, of late I've found when I'm trying to "find time" to catch up with people...I look through diary and find a space that may be 16 days away.

"Yes, would love to see you. Are you free on the evening of the 13th March?"
Which generally leads to "I have no idea as that's 16 days away...was sort of thinking this week?"

Everyone just rolls their eyes at me now....

BlackUnicorn 02-25-2011 08:51 PM

I keep notes.

1) Come up with nicknames (as you already seemingly have!). Something that links up with something specific you've talked about, something that happened on a date etc. My examples: 'The Crying Girl', 'The Neo-nazi', 'The Hottie with Zero Spelling Skills'. Yeah, they're all affectionate.

2) Write down what you have talked about with each. Maybe draw up a mind-map. Also record dates, how you think it's going, current interest levels etc.

3) Store up messages somewhere where you can index and quick-search them. Maybe start a folder for each?

Dating is like war; the ones with the best maintenance plans tend to win.

nycindie 02-25-2011 08:55 PM


Originally Posted by BlackUnicorn (Post 68292)
Dating is like war; the ones with the best maintenance plans tend to win.

Haha! Made me laugh out loud.

LovingRadiance 02-26-2011 04:01 AM

I'm not on the dating scene, but with 4 kids all going different directions, a husband, boyfriend and live-in sister... schedule gets busy.

We have a calendar on the wall and we all write on it and copy it to our cell phone calendars. I use "reminders" that ring in my phone to tell me of anything that is going on that pertains to me. ;)

My sister uses google calendar mentioned by other posters. ;)

redpepper 02-26-2011 06:37 AM

"the goog" as we call it. Checking "the goog" is a common phrase around here. I am not loving that I don't get how to add stuff onto it from my phone though... I can see what's up, but that's it..... Moooooooonnnnooo.... help?

MonoVCPHG 02-26-2011 07:53 AM


Originally Posted by redpepper (Post 68368)
"the goog" as we call it. Checking "the goog" is a common phrase around here. I am not loving that I don't get how to add stuff onto it from my phone though... I can see what's up, but that's it..... Moooooooonnnnooo.... help?

I'm right here....just below you...if we had a glass floor I'd be staring up at your ass ;)

nycindie 02-26-2011 08:31 AM

I just have to figure out how to balance my time better, no matter what system I use.


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