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-   -   Poly Dating Site? (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=71)

Keith 02-27-2009 08:35 PM

Poly Dating Site?
How many of you would be interested in a free poly-oriented dating site?

I searched around some for poly dating sites but the few I found were either very poor in quality, or charged a fee.

I'm a web developer and I was thinking about making a decent free poly dating site. Would anyone be interested?

AutumnalTone 02-27-2009 09:01 PM

Sure. I'd like it to be a poly-friendly dating site, though--meaning it tries to attract those who are curious about poly, open to poly, or actively poly. That may seem to be an implicit assumption with a poly dating site; the difference is that a poly-friendly site actively reaches out to the mono masses to find those who might be poly instead of simply reaching out to the poly community to find members.

Keith 02-27-2009 09:04 PM

Absolutely. While I was running (brief) ideas through my head, I was thinking there would definitely be options to select monogamy as your status as well as what you were seeking.

I'm also always open to ideas and suggestions. If I decide to put the work into it, I would want it to be a smashing success.

I have experience in developing enterprise (Fortune 500) level web applications but I must admit I'm not much of a designer or graphic artist. I flourish when I'm working more on the back end rather than the front end. If anyone knows any designers who may be interested in going in on this with me, let me know.

Keith 02-27-2009 09:06 PM

Lol and unfortunately polyamory.net has been taken by a squatter, who is undoubtedly asking for an insane fee for the domain; so domain name suggestions would be welcome as well.

AutumnalTone 03-01-2009 07:14 PM

Heck, I'd just call it Many Loves--so see if manyloves.com (or .net) is available.

I think that name works for both the poly connotation and for the idea that many people are seeking/finding love, whether mono or poly.

AutumnalTone 03-07-2009 02:47 AM

Well, I have ideas on how the profiles should work. Once common complaint among poly couples is that personals sites don't allow for profiles for couples--it's individual profiles only. I'm thinking there has to be a way to alleviate that without then locking couples into couples-only profiles.

See, my wife and I are not a package deal. If some woman wants to get involved with me, she doesn't have to also get involved with my wife (who is bi). Likewise, any woman getting involved with her doesn't have to get involved with me. As I'm straight, any men getting involved with her also aren't getting involved with me. To stick us with only a couples profile wouldn't be a good solution.

So I'm thinking having individual profiles available, couples profiles available, and the ability to strongly link individual profiles of couples/groups that identify as a unit would work to serve all the contingencies.

Hit me up in private if you're wanting more ideas tossed your way.

GlassDaemon 03-11-2009 09:32 AM

I'd love to see this, while I've never experienced a poly relationship and am pretty innocent to it, hell don't even know if I could be polyamory, I am extremely curious. Would love the chance to talk to more polyamory people in a more intimate setting such as this.

AutumnalTone 03-16-2009 05:55 PM

Heck, you're welcome to talk to us on the boards here, though there aren't many of us here as yet. If you want, you can even send messages direct to other members on here, so if you've got a burning question (or list of questions), feel free to send it.

I check in as regularly as I can around work (I'm usually on the road the first part of each week) and reply to all personal messages as promptly as I can. Board posts may have to wait a bit longer (as with this past week).

ferrishmatt 04-14-2009 03:00 AM

Hey there. If you're still interested in putting one together perhaps we can work together on this. I have a dating script about 85% complete that I spent a great deal of time modifying to work with having multiple "profiles" per account and not limited to one or two people. You can easily select if you are a single, couple, group, what you are looking for and what criteria etc. I ended up shelving it when I got swamped with other work!

Perhaps we can work on this together and get something decent for our community up!

Email me (or skype) at matt [at] ferrishyn.com and we can talk more details.

River 04-14-2009 04:59 PM

Maybe -- somehow -- your poly dating site could be integrated with this site, polyamory.com? It's a good URL! ... anyway, it's worth checking with Olivier about. Maybe Olivier already has other plans along similar lines?

I'd hold off on the URL name a bit. I can't say I like "many loves" because it could imply scattered diffuseness to some, with the word "many". Doesn't the word cell "poly" mean "multiple" rather than many? Multiple isn't a pretty word, though, but at least two or three are multiples --, and, honestly, who among us has time enough to be a lover to "many"? I surely do not. Three is my way upper limit. Two is probably my perfect fit.

I like the idea of providing as many choices as is practicable and reasonable in posting to a "dating" site. In fact, why make it a "dating" site? "Dating" implies so much! What if what I want to do is to find other polyfolk for friendship? Shouldn't this new site help facilitate that?

I was about to sign up at LovingMore and found their list of _______ seeking
________ problematically restrictive at the time. http://lovingmorepersonals.com/join....d=please_login Maybe it has changed since then? In any case, it's worth noting that not everyone is "seeking" while some that are not "seeking" would still enjoy meeting others for friendship (not dating) which they are open to having evolve into a loverly relationship. I'm one of those. I'm not really "seeking", but I'd be delighted if a new love came into my life.

Not everyone, seeking or otherwise, is into "dating", by the way. Some folks like to have friends and companions, activity partners..., etc., and if things start getting "romantic" then that's just how it goes -- even though there was no "dating" happening, per se. I've got nothing against folks "dating", if that's what they want. But not all folks open to or interested in meeting others who share points of compatibility (e.g., they are poly) are into dating, per se.

I'm involved in a GBQ mens' activities project which provides opportunities for queer guys to meet in social and recreational activity groups, for example. We plan on hiking trips, camping and backpacking, etc., and have a regular Saturday potluck picnic in the park. This isn't "dating", but it is surely attended by people who are open to meeting potential lovers or friends.

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