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-   -   It's all new to me! (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=7005)

janeb1958 02-21-2011 02:45 AM

It's all new to me!
 
I've been with a poly man for about 11 months. He's married (she & I are friends) & has several other lovers (don't like one of them but ok with the others). He calls me a life partner - I see him more than any, other than his wife. It's all new to me but do understand I can't expect him to fulfill 100% of my outside needs. He's the best thing that ever happened to me - but not fair of me to depend on him. SO -- now that I'm more comfortable with all this, I have been looking (using OK Cupid) & in real life for my "primary" -- well....I've been chatting with this guy that lives in a part of San Diego County where my love has been looking to purchase a home -- SO today, the 3 of us met for the first time!!! It seem to go well! This new guy doesn't seem to be jealous or have issues with my relationship with my love!! Time will tell & I will keep y'all informed! Just excited!!

nycindie 02-21-2011 06:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by janeb1958 (Post 67458)
I've been with a poly man for about 11 months. He's married (she & I are friends) & has several other lovers (don't like one of them but ok with the others). He calls me a life partner - I see him more than any, other than his wife. It's all new to me but do understand I can't expect him to fulfill 100% of my outside needs. He's the best thing that ever happened to me - but not fair of me to depend on him. SO -- now that I'm more comfortable with all this, I have been looking (using OK Cupid) & in real life for my "primary" -- well....I've been chatting with this guy that lives in a part of San Diego County where my love has been looking to purchase a home -- SO today, the 3 of us met for the first time!!! It seem to go well! This new guy doesn't seem to be jealous or have issues with my relationship with my love!! Time will tell & I will keep y'all informed! Just excited!!

Sounds great! So were the three of you comprised of the guy you've been chatting with, you, and your love of 11 months? Or was the third a mate of this new guy? I don't know why I got confused.

Glad it went well, and yes we will want all the juicy details! :D

janeb1958 02-21-2011 04:15 PM

I'm sorry -- I"m sure it's me -- when I get excited, I write confusingly!!!!
YES, the 3 were me, the new guy & my love of 11 months! The guys got along great!! I spoke with the new guy on the phone later -- he likes me!!!

nycindie 02-21-2011 05:17 PM

Woo-Hoo! Sounds like fun times ahead!

janeb1958 02-21-2011 05:26 PM

One of his lovers hates me & I see the pain...I certainly don't want that on my side...I like the thought of -- why can't we just all get along!!! Thanks!

Ariakas 02-21-2011 05:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by janeb1958 (Post 67539)
One of his lovers hates me & I see the pain...I certainly don't want that on my side...I like the thought of -- why can't we just all get along!!! Thanks!

:).. simple answer, because not everyone can. I never use the word hate, but there are lots of people I wouldn't put up with in my life... being a metamour can kind of get you stuck with people you wouldn't like.

Best of luck, hopefully the metamour can move from hating you to at least tolerating...:eek: I know that sounds bad, but "hate" is a very difficult thing to overcome and can seep into everyone else's mood.

janeb1958 02-21-2011 05:59 PM

thanks -- yes -- hate is a strong word & I don't understand it myself. We were suppose to talk, with mediation, and all she could do was yell...that was a few months ago -- but now they've started seeing each other again (they've known each other about 10 yrs). He wants us to try the mediation again...I recently lost my job so I've asked him to wait -- don't want her to try to kick me when I'm down!

But...I find it cool that the new guy & him get along! I'm taking that as a positive!

janeb1958 03-03-2011 01:31 PM

Well, that was short lived...never even had a chance to go out with the new guy -- he just faded away into the sunset, I guess. He called last Friday after a few "cool" days of not much contact. We talked but it was a little distant. But he said he'd call over the weekend. I guess he didn't specify WHICH weekend?!!!! LOL Well, Monday, I sent him an email asking for honesty - that all I could think from his silence was he's changed his mind on being interested in me or a relationship with me. But still asked him to be honest with me either way...still no word from him. Oh well-- his loss!!!


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