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-   -   Advice from others needed (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=6991)

calimero 02-20-2011 03:23 PM

Advice from others needed
 
When we began realising we were both the type of people that leaned towards poly we were adamant that it would never be another man involved.. however, we have realised that we actually are open to this... and do now have someone else that has helped us realise this.. although we do not believe it will be a long term thing.

However, when we read everything, we are stuggling to find others that believe as we do that there should never be intimacy between the sub relationships( our term for the other relationships within ours) unless both of us in the primary relationship are involved.

I see the 3rd socially without my Husband/Master being there, but its purely social and friendly, no intimacy unless my Husband/Master is there..and I would not dream of having it any other way..... but is there a term for this. We only have intimacy with others at all when both are involved..although not always in person.( Sometimes My Husband/Master just watches me via cam when away with work)


Another thing is my Master/Husband would like to hear from people that are living with one but the female has relationships with others.. as for so long this was not something that either of us considered...but it has just kinda developed that way, and now I am looking with my Husband/Masters consent to find someone.

We do intend to still eventually have another female involved too but we expect that to just happen as and when we meet the right person.

Thank you for reading...

Cali - owned and collared Slave to her Master.

redpepper 02-20-2011 07:42 PM

I would suggest that you do some reading on here. What you describe might just be a version of your own poly... but it is similar to many others. You are not all that unique, just unique to your own description. Everyone does things according to their own comfort level. It sounds like you have some fluid boundaries going on that mean that there is room for change and growth as time goes on... never say never is a good motto to have in poly.

I would suggest doing some searches on here, perhaps in the tags to find some ideas and answers that are unique to you. Your master will also find that there are plenty that live with a woman who is intimate and involved with others... myself being one.

Your post indicates to me that you have a lot to read and catch up on.... :) enjoy, there is a lot to read ;)

Ariakas 02-21-2011 03:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by calimero (Post 67358)
When we began realising we were both the type of people that leaned towards poly we were adamant that it would never be another man involved.. however, we have realised that we actually are open to this... and do now have someone else that has helped us realise this.. although we do not believe it will be a long term thing.

I can relate. My wife and I started out as an OPP (One Penis Policy) setup. This was a mutual decision between Pengrah and I. She wanted to play with girls, liked to watch me have sex with girls and.. so we picked up girls. We didn't have an M/s dynamic though, however we did play D/s... not quite a lifestyle for us however.

Quote:

However, when we read everything, we are stuggling to find others that believe as we do that there should never be intimacy between the sub relationships( our term for the other relationships within ours) unless both of us in the primary relationship are involved.
Fetlife, has a number of relationships designed like this. It isn't uncommon... Its not a poly structure I would enjoy.

Quote:

I see the 3rd socially without my Husband/Master being there, but its purely social and friendly, no intimacy unless my Husband/Master is there..and I would not dream of having it any other way..... but is there a term for this. We only have intimacy with others at all when both are involved..although not always in person.( Sometimes My Husband/Master just watches me via cam when away with work)
Term for it.. not sure. I think its a good gateway into poly.

Quote:

Another thing is my Master/Husband would like to hear from people that are living with one but the female has relationships with others.. as for so long this was not something that either of us considered...but it has just kinda developed that way, and now I am looking with my Husband/Masters consent to find someone.
My wife has dated outside of our marriage. Its not uncommon in poly. Its happened rather organically for us. We both liked dating girls. I didn't like being limited to dating as a couple, and she didn't like being limited to girls. So we split off and started being social/dating separately. This happened .. well we ended up completely opening up because I was falling for another woman who I ended up dating for about 9 months, and wanted to be free to date her.

Now we are completely open and not tied to each other for relationships. I find it far more freeing and prefer it to where I was a year ago. Of course, the irony is, right now neither of us are dating.


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