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-   -   Is "Distance" Really Important for Online Dating?~ (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=69698)

ColorsWolf 04-20-2014 12:12 AM

Is "Distance" Really Important for Online Dating?~
Often I will find some one I really feel like I would get along with very well, find out they just happen to be in an exotic country (like Finland or New York), get very excited, and contact them only to have them either completely ignore my well-thought-out lengthy message or reply upset that I'm outside their "preferred area" when it was clearly stated so on their profile.~

For me, that is just a "would be nice" kind of thing preference, but really I am open to meeting some one from any where.~

After all would you really want to cut-off the possibility to meet your lover simply because like a remote 5 feet from your sitting butt "they're too far"?~

If any thing I would ideally want to get to know some one online for awhile before I want to "meet up in-person".~

I mean seriously: the whole point of dating "online" is to get to know some one BEFORE I actually "go out with them" so that I can hopefully catch most signs that we wouldn't like each other.~

Otherwise I'd go out and randomly point to some one and ask them to date me, sink or swim: I still do this and have rarely had great results, the one great result I can remember is when I was too scared to even ask if she was exclusive if she had a lover already as when I feel some thing for some one I get really nervous and very shy.~ Ironic since I'm usually very extroverted and outgoing with most people.~

What do you think about this topic?~

Inyourendo 04-20-2014 12:43 AM

I only go online to find locals. I won't date anyone who isnt a 20 minute drive or so

Eponine 04-20-2014 02:41 AM

Distance doesn't matter to me at all. I like getting to know people online, and I don't even mind being in a permanent LDR. But then, I'm an asexual relationship anarchist who values the abstract mental connection over anything else, and I realize that not everyone is like me. Some people really need frequent face-to-face time to connect with a partner, or they have a strong need for physical/sexual intimacy, or they can't/don't want to relocate or travel too often, etc. I think it's more likely about not wanting a long-term LDR than not wanting to get to know each other online.

SchrodingersCat 04-20-2014 04:39 AM

But... how can they hold your hand when you poop if they live across the world?

nycindie 04-20-2014 05:26 AM

Wow, I didn't even know New York is an exotic country, and I live there!


LovingRadiance 04-20-2014 05:44 AM

I dont mind talking online. But I don't do long-distance relationships. So if someone isn't close, I won't date them at all, so why get their hopes up?

Dagferi 04-20-2014 04:38 PM


Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat (Post 265101)
But... how can they hold your hand when you poop if they live across the world?

I just snorted through Coffee snorted through my nose .

nycindie 04-20-2014 06:51 PM


Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat (Post 265101)
But... how can they hold your hand when you poop if they live across the world?


Originally Posted by Dagferi (Post 265130)
. . . Coffee snorted through my nose .

I almost did the same thing when I read it last night (to be clear, I mean I almost snorted a beverage, NOT hold hands with someone while pooping).

I guess in an LDR, they could sit on the toilet with their laptops and Skype while pooping, since I do believe Skype is available even in exotic countries like New York.

Dagferi 04-20-2014 08:22 PM

It is disrespectful to contact people who have specified their preferences and you do not meet those preferences.

Then you have the nerve to be affronted when they do not reply to you?

AlwaysGrowing 04-21-2014 05:13 AM

I also can't do long distance relationships. My two primary love languages are quality time and physical touch. Not so much things you can do when you're rarely in the same physical space. And I have very little desire to sit in front of a computer or phone on Skype/some other video chat for hours on end just to have a "date night." I like date nights to happen weekly, if I can't see you weekly - I don't want to date you.

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