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JohninCA 04-09-2014 03:16 AM

Loving Polyamory
My wife and I have been married for 23 years when our partner came into our lives. I always thought that one wife was all I could love, then she came along, our perfect partner. It's like when I had my first child; I didn't think I could love another child, then number 2 came along it all became clear.

We didn't set out to become polyamorous, heck I didn't even know what that was. Our partner started coming over to sit in the hot tub after her roller derby practice. Eventually, it was easier to just have her stay the night. It came to the point where she didn't want to go back to her empty house. Over time, my wife and I fell in love with her, and she fell in love with us. Our teenage daughters have been great, and accepting of everything; we have been very open with them.

Our triad is a triangle so can be with each other, or all together. We do differ from a lot of the people on her because our triangle is closed; we are not free to date others and none of us are looking for that.

So I'm curious, how did your polyamorous relationship start?

kdt26417 04-09-2014 04:08 AM

Hi JohninCA,

Man, you have had some awesomely good luck in forming such a loving poly family with so few ruffles along the way. I'm in a V but it took us several years to stop having fights and drama. Before ever becoming a V, it was just me confessing to having fallen in love with a woman married to another man. A year of research by her and long discussions between her and her husband eventually resulted in his willingness to give poly a try. We have slowly figured out how to do it since then.

You can get more info on my story in the blog I've been keeping on this site, if you're interested. I'm always willing to answer questions, and you can find others' poly stories on the blog board as well.

Polyamory is truly a labor of love, well worth the effort but requiring faith and patience. That's been my experience anyway.

JohninCA 04-09-2014 06:36 PM

We realized early on that there could be no place for jealousy in this kind of relationship. I've come home and discovered my wife and our partner together, I quietly will go about my business, but have learned to not be jealous. I have time with my wife and time with my partner alone, and the times together are the best.

Recently the two of them went camping together, it was kind of nice having the whole bed to myself. Last weekend our partner was out of town for the first time since the beginning of our adventure. It was nice being with only my wife for a bit, but we realized how much our partner had become a huge part of our relationship; we both missed her so much (thank God for Skype). I have to leave for a week soon and will miss them, then my wife will leave for a week for business.

This relationship continues to blossom and three of us couldn't be happier with how things just fell into place.

kdt26417 04-09-2014 07:08 PM

That's the way it should be. A lot of love, and little if any jealousy.

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