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-   -   "Always Together" Finding Some One Who Means It (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=69496)

ColorsWolf 04-03-2014 05:10 AM

"Always Together" Finding Some One Who Means It
 
I don't know how many other people want this.

I want us to be together because we want to, not because we need to.

I don't know if we will decide to take different paths in life separately or together.

When we are together, I want to "always be together" in every way: every moment together, always touching, always cuddling, when we sleep we snuggle, when we eat we share each other's food, we bathe together, we are always touching in some way and we even are with each other on the toilet two or more toilets and bidets side by side preferred.

If I do make a connection with some one or some ones: this is the kind of relationship(s) I want.

Is this a quality I can find in some one else before dating, to develop during dating over time with strengthening of an intimate relationship(s), or it some what a combination of both?

Is this harder to find or to make with some one in or from the U.S.A.?

Would it be easier in other countries?

Does any one else have experiences or helpful input to share?

london 04-03-2014 08:12 AM

I think your best bet would be looking for people with a history of undiagnosed or untreated mental Health issues. Failing that, just go for someone very,very broken.

ColorsWolf 04-03-2014 03:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by london (Post 263787)
I think your best bet would be looking for people with a history of undiagnosed or untreated mental Health issues. Failing that, just go for someone very,very broken.

Wow, that is one of the meanest things some one has ever told me.

If you actually think this about this subject or if your inention was insult: your attempt to help is appreciated but it is not helpful and in fact is insultful, rude, spiteful, and generalizing.~

AlwaysGrowing 04-03-2014 04:28 PM

I can't imagine ever wanting to be around someone THAT needy. I personally need some alone time now and then. EVERYONE I know does, too. I also have no desire to time my bowel movements so my partner and I can do that together (heck, I don't even want to be in the room when someone's pooping, let alone be doing it myself, too!). I like cuddling a lot, but there are times I just want space. I love having the people I love around, but their presence in another room is sometimes even better than having their arms around me.

So, no... I have no idea where you would be able to find someone who wants the extreme contact that you want. If I met someone with those wants, I would run.

Dagferi 04-03-2014 07:12 PM

Yikes...

I would either run screaming or want to shoot myself in the head if someone wanted this of me.

WhatToDo 04-04-2014 12:02 AM

Maybe like somebody that is looking for a green card or something like that. I can't imagine wanting to be around anybody that way. I need some me time.

nycindie 04-04-2014 12:28 AM

There's "togetherness" and partnership, and then there's being so needy and codependent as to be mentally/emottionally unbalanced - sorry, but what you fantasize about sounds like the latter aand very unhealthy. That kind of relationship is something I would want to protect someone from, not to encourage. Jeez, it's actually little scary, like some kind of imprisonment situation. These thoughts you have are simply irrational and not what a healthy adult would want. Have you considered therapy?

Inyourendo 04-04-2014 12:33 AM

I love being with my loves. When I was on maternity leave, nate and I only spent 2 hours apart during those 7 weeks and I absolutely loved it. I don't have a desire for alone time, I prefer to bring my love with me on errands or out with friends. I see nothing wrong with that, just a preference. Sam told me he and his ex wife were like that. They started a business together so they were together 24/7? Im glad he's that way because it means he wants to be with me just as much as i want to be with him. Just being in the same room, even if nate is drawing and im reading fulfills me.

ColorsWolf 04-04-2014 01:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Inyourendo (Post 263860)
I love being with my loves. When I was on maternity leave, nate and I only spent 2 hours apart during those 7 weeks and I absolutely loved it. I don't have a desire for alone time, I prefer to bring my love with me on errands or out with friends. I see nothing wrong with that, just a preference. Sam told me he and his ex wife were like that. They started a business together so they were together 24/7? Im glad he's that way because it means he wants to be with me just as much as i want to be with him. Just being in the same room, even if nate is drawing and im reading fulfills me.

Thank you so much, I'm glad some one who also enjoys the thought of constant loving touch shared their opinion here.

As for every one else: I appreciate you sharing your opinions, but please try to keep yourselves from being judgmental of other people when they enjoy things or live a in a way you do not.~

Thank you.

Love,

ColorsWolf~

YouAreHere 04-04-2014 02:24 AM

For many people (including myself), that level of togetherness would feel smothering... and I LOVE spending time with Chops. I still like to have time alone, though, or with my own friends and interests, nurturing me outside of the "us".

It also reminded me of this SNL sketch. (Warning: site is probably blocked by many workplaces, although the video is SFW)

Many people find this type of thing undesirable (hence the popularity of the "Overly Attached Girlfriend" meme), so I'm not sure how easy it would be to find someone with the same desires. Not impossible, it seems, but difficult. I do recommend you be up front when dating someone, though... such behavior can seem pretty stalkerish if people aren't expecting it, and it could potentially get interpreted fairly badly.


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