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-   -   The Ethical Slut.....Got to Get it! (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=69212)

Mahogany 03-07-2014 01:08 AM

The Ethical Slut.....Got to Get it!
Hello all,

I just purchased The Ethical Slut: A Practical Guide to Polyamory. I totally love this book, and it is an easy read too; with just the right amount of dry humor to provide an lol every now and then. :p

I am sure many of you know about this book, but if there is anyone out there that has yet to experience its bliss....don't wait any longer! ;)

The chapter on "jealousy" is the one that is really hitting home for me right now. I am SO happy I found this read.

AlwaysGrowing 03-07-2014 01:18 AM

I did not enjoy the writing style at all in Ethical Slut - honestly, after 3 or 4 tries, I have yet to make it through the entire thing.

Glad you enjoyed it, though! I know a lot of people who recommend it. :)

nycindie 03-07-2014 01:56 AM

There are a lot of people who think of that book as a poly "bible" of sorts. And there are a lot of people who hate it. From what reviews and excerpts I've read, I know I have no desire to read it. I have also really disliked some of the articles and interviews I've come across of Dossie Easton's - I find her views rather irksome. But... to each his/her own!

Mahogany 03-07-2014 03:34 AM

Really? That's interesting. I find it helpful in that it brings light to some of the things I have been working on. But I can see how it is would be cliche. By all means, I know it is not the ONLY literature out there. For me, a recent realized poly, it helps quickly make sense of some of the feelings and ideas I have about my primary relationship and his secondary relationship.

Okay, in my own defense...I am not an English major...lol..... SO I am not up-to-par when it comes to a deep analysis of an author's writing style. I do like their writing, because it is an easy read and I get their humor in all of this.

Maybe ignorance is bliss ;) All in all it floats my boat for now, and may float another inexperienced poly's boat. :)

nycindie 03-07-2014 04:45 AM

We do have a thread of Book Recommendations here. Just do a search...

Mahogany 03-07-2014 05:33 AM

Great, thanks xo

PolyinPractice 03-07-2014 07:41 AM

Did you see the youtube series based off The Ethical Slut? Dear God. It was painfully horrible. Basically, oh, my marriage is dull and we're cheating on each other anyway, let's have sex with others, because that's poly. Ugh.

Ariakas 03-07-2014 01:27 PM

It is a good book, I enjoyed it for what it was. Ethical slut wasn't a poly bible but an ethical non-monogamy reference written in a easy to read way. Poly people just tend to pigeon hole any book in the hope of making a bible. Just look at Sex at Dawn. Poly people adopted that book as the be all and end all for poly defining the world as poly, and monogamous people were wrong. Listening to the author interviews and reading the book, you realize quickly the book wasn't living up to what poly people had done to it. They created a mythology around a series of stories (sound familiar... hint: bible)..

Take a look at opening up. Another non-monogamy book written in a reasonable way. Simply trying to expand how people can open up. Its a little more textbook like, so dryer. But still a good glimpse into non-monogamy.

Both books show there are a multitude of workable ways to be non-monogamy. I ended up giving my copies away to some starter friends. I was unlikely to ever read them again because, at the time, this forum was filled with all the information I could want. (I was also part of swinging and bdsm forums to expand on some of my info since the poly forum tends to become limited in its knowledge or perspective)

Take the book (both really) for what it is, a peek into whats possible with consensual non-monogamy. The cheating stuff is used as an example, why?.. read through the forums, you will see lots and lots... and .. LOTS of people who fell into poly through cheating, its like a gateway drug for adults who cant keep their pants on.

Smiles 03-07-2014 01:28 PM


Originally Posted by PolyinPractice (Post 261412)
Did you see the youtube series based off The Ethical Slut? Dear God. It was painfully horrible. Basically, oh, my marriage is dull and we're cheating on each other anyway, let's have sex with others, because that's poly. Ugh.

My wife was a virgin at 25 when we met, I wasn't too far behind that. We are flirting with the idea of an open marriage. More for me...

For those with an open or poly relationship, has that made the marriage stronger?

If the marriage was dull in the bedroom, did another partner teach other technics in the bedroom?

I did order the book along with one on open marriage that was reccomended on the reviews.

I do know that once I have a relationship with another woman, I will never be able to undo that, even though I would be totally open and honest about it.

Magdlyn 03-07-2014 02:09 PM

It's funny. The Ethical Slut was the first book I read on polyamory, back in 1999 or 2000. Now, the only thing I can remember from it is a scene where a woman (the author?) goes to a lesbian sex party and is fisted (or watches a woman being fisted?) on a windowsill. Something like that.

I thought, is THAT what poly entails? Random uncomfortable sounding sex with a stranger wearing a latex glove, while being watched by a bunch of other strangers? Um, ew?

I'm sure there was also helpful advice in that book. LOL

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