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-   -   A Plea for Nicknames (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=69072)

opalescent 02-24-2014 08:22 PM

A Plea for Nicknames
Disclaimer: I'm not a mod or anything like that here. What I say is just my personal thoughts.

So, onward...

I urge folks who post here, even if not regularly, to assign nicknames to important people they reference in their posts. That usually means partners and metamours, but often includes children, friends, and other family members.

I, personally, cannot keep track of who is who using just initials. I just lose track. It's seems most people date an 'M' or a 'S' sooner or later. I just can't figure out who is who, especially if the cast of characters, so to speak, are many and intertwined - as is often the case. And I get one poster's 'T' mixed up with other 'T's. It's so confusing. I find myself not reading posts where there are a lot of initials. Just too much to figure out.

So, please, figure out some brief descriptive nicknames and use them. I remember nicknames so much better, especially if they are truly descriptive in some way. For example, lots of people have 'Dear Husband' or DH. This is still better than an 'H' as far as my retention of it. But if you provide me with some sort of 'hook' about the person, I will remember it, and be more likely to want to interact, make suggestions or just chat.

And you can always change them if need be. I've done that with how I refer to my ex-wife.

Finally, nicknames are just fun. Have some giggles! My current favorite is 'Punkrockawesomesauce'. I won't forget that! I chuckle whenever LovingRadiance refers to her Peas - her children and grandchildren.

Let's get nicknaming, people!

kkxvlv 02-24-2014 08:39 PM

Could not agree more! I can't follow the initials even with a key in the signature. You know who those people are and can picture them when you're writing but to me they are a letter and they all look the same!

LoveBunny 02-24-2014 08:40 PM

Total agreement I can't follow who is who when it's just an initial, and I often find myself skimming such posts, not giving my full attention.

YouAreHere 02-24-2014 09:02 PM

Wellllll... I abbreviate nicknames.

P is for "partner" - real creative, I know. I can't use DH because it isn't correct, I hate BF because (to me) it sounds very high school, and DP ("dear partner?") has a WHOLE OTHER MEANING. And literally writing "partner" and "metamour" sounds like a 'bot is narrating.

To be honest, I like the level of anonymity. I'd be willing to bet that some folks from the poly groups in our area frequent this board, and probably know M1 at the very least. I don't need her to possibly get ID'd through my venting on a bad day and have it be communicated (or miscommunicated) back to her.

It's not foolproof, but it's another step towards obfuscation. Sorry. :)

Edited to add:
Of course, after I say that, my brain goes off on a tangent to think about possible nicknames. Point goes to Opalescent for getting my brain to go, "Sure, why not!" after it's already gone, "But I like it this way!" ;)

Dagferi 02-24-2014 09:12 PM

I use my guys nicknames.

Butch is a family nickname for him.

Most of Murf's friends call him such.

My kids are Moose and Squirrel. They got that nickname from my best friend of 20 years. He has a strong German accent and it stuck because he couldn't remember Rocky and Bullwinkle.

LovingRadiance 02-24-2014 10:34 PM

I totally agree. When people use letters, I usually just stop reading, because I can't keep it straight.

Inyourendo 02-24-2014 11:25 PM

I just recently made up names for everyone

pulliman 02-24-2014 11:32 PM

Hmmmm. I've thought about doing nicknames and feel stuck with the initials I started using, honestly. Maybe turn WI into Winona and AM into Amy. Ha. But why the hell not? Anonymity is important to us, but fake names really are more readable...

Mya 02-25-2014 12:02 AM

Agreed! It does make following other people's posts easier. I also find it easier to write like that as well, using nicknames instead of single letters. I think the text flows a bit better like that. In my case the nicknames have nothing to do with the people's actual names, they are just names I happen to like for one reason or another.

CattivaGattina 02-25-2014 12:07 AM

Opal, with your request I edited my latest blog post changing initials to a name. Others will be given those as they are talked about.

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