Polyamory.com Forum

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bl3626 02-15-2014 05:57 PM

Hi
 
Hello, I am a married 46 yr old woman living in Portland, Maine. I *think* my husband I are about to open up our marriage but we haven't had an honest talk about it yet, just skirting around it. Right now I'm reading Opening Up and working up my courage. Honestly, I think he'll be into it but it's still a big leap to open that door and I want to do it mindfully. I have been in a polyamorous relationship before with a couple where I was not the primary and that worked out fine for me at the time, however I ended my involvement when I fell in love with my husband. I know he has cheated in past relationships but not had any honestly open relationships. Anyway, that's enough for the intro I think and I'm sure I will read and post more as I get closer to having a discussion with him. Part of it is that the discussion will involve that he seems very bi-curious but he hasn't felt comfortable admitting to it yet. I am totally into that and want to have this conversation in a way that makes him feel safe to be who he is and not just automatically deny it like he's been doing for so long. Wish me luck. ~ BL

Spiritowl 02-16-2014 01:10 AM

Good luck!
With your background you have some wisdom.
My husband is the one who brought it up when we made it stick!
I am new here too :) some of his reasoning was serif a deepening relationship between a good friend and I. It has worked out very well for us. It is certainly scary to talk about when you aren't just joking!

Hope you find what suits you!

kdt26417 02-17-2014 11:07 PM

Greetings bl3626,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

Good luck in your upcoming discussion/s with your husband. "Opening Up" is a great book I think; good choice. I wonder if asking your husband to read that book might be a good way to "start the conversation?" You and he could discuss stuff in the book as he comes across it.

Your past experience will almost certainly help you sort things out, and it sounds like he has more than one thing to sort out with respect to relationship style and sexuality. It's an exciting place to be but scary!

Anyway, have a look around at our various threads and boards, and see what proves most helpful. We are always willing to answer questions, of course.

Glad you could join us!
Sincerely,
Kevin T., "official greeter" :)

Notes:

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