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-   -   Vday! (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=68934)

Spiritowl 02-15-2014 03:33 PM

Vday!
 
Yesterday was my first official Vday in a true poly relationship.
I was able to have lunch with my mate Paul while my primary Thomas was at work. And then dinner with them both and a movie. It went well and smoothly!

I am curious how others handle their love days.

PolyinPractice 02-15-2014 04:16 PM

The more closed it is, the easier I think it is. For example, my partner has a vee with two of us. She has a boyfriend; I currently am dating. I would prefer, if possible, I spent with him. She has never, at least since I've been with him, shown interest in Valentine's Day plans with him. So it's easy for him to give me that time, if I'm available. If not, I am totally on board with him trying to find a date.

It used to be trickier. She didn't care about spending the night with him, but she didn't like him having plans when she didn't. So she would pretend he had nothing else going on and make him do stuff with her at the last minute. He went along, because he still had some of that mono thinking that he had to do this. Very loyal personality. When he realized that he didn't HAVE to do this, he stopped. She's struggling with this, a little, but is getting better...

As all of us are getting busier, however, this is becoming less of an issue and the real issue is finding time at all. He and I wanted to spend Valentine's together, but I wasn't able. He also couldn't find a date :( If I had a girlfriend/boyfriend of my own, it would make it even HARDER for me to have that day with him.....

nycindie 02-15-2014 04:35 PM

Never really had much interest in Valentine's Day, and don't recall celebrating it with my husband. I think it's a really stupid holiday. I prefer my lovers and I to express our love and appreciation for each other every day, and pay no mind to this day of forced adoration.

PolyinPractice 02-15-2014 04:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nycindie (Post 259805)
Never really had much interest in Valentine's Day, and don't recall celebrating it with my husband. I think it's a really stupid holiday. I prefer my lovers and I to express our love and appreciation for each other every day, and pay no mind to this day of forced adoration.

I'm a sappy romantic, so my boyfriend puts up with that ;) I know it's stupid, but it's more that I want time with him, than anything else, and I know she'll be off having other plans...

Spiritowl 02-15-2014 11:12 PM

I agree that it is just another day. I am festive tho and enjoy most designated 'holidays' for the fun of it. My primary doesnt have anyone else to really make plans with so sometimes he can feel left out as well. I know for him any time I am with my other would be made easier when he has someone else. For now scheduling hold back the frustration. For instance when he is working And or asleep our plans dont seem to bother him at all. It's that 'home alone' time that gets to him at times.

Both of my lovers and I share a thousand sweet things and have many different dates of importance and share exceptional love and tokens of that often.

Just like the silly romance of a set day
To do so. I am a lucky woman tho, for me it's Christmas, birthday primary anniv, valentines day and secondary anniv! Lol it's the season of getting for me, even if that 'getting' is just some extra specil time.

FullofLove1052 02-16-2014 04:29 AM

Even when I was in another relationship--this is the first time in over a decade that I am not--I always spent V-Day with my DH. Our wedding anniversary is the 15th, so the days leading up to and following those days were always spent with him. That has been our tradition since the getting to know each other stage.

I am happy that you enjoyed your V-Day. I treat it like a fun, lighthearted day. Complete with unique gift exchanges. :)

RainyGrlJenny 02-18-2014 07:11 PM

I have always loved Valentine's Day, whether single, mono, or poly :) But, I'm a preschool teacher, and to me V-day is all about making valentines with the kids, cooking up treats, and teaching about love and friendship.

This year, I went wine tasting and then out to Cuban food with Moonlight, and exchanged some light texts with Punk. In past years, I tended to spend the actual day with Fly and Kiddo as a family day, and then had a date on another night with whomever.

I don't think celebrating a fun holiday in playful or romantic ways means that you don't show love and appreciation on other days. It's just a time to be extra joyful!


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