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-   -   Oy! Hello ;) (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=68882)

PolyNorCalFam 02-12-2014 09:28 AM

Oy! Hello ;)
Hi there.

My husband of 9 years and I had been involved in swinging here and there for a few years while living in Las Vegas. I had my frist sexual encounter with a women then which was in 2009. At that time it was purley swinging. Two daughters later and a move off grid a lot happened. I fell in love with a women that was a fling and compleatly unexpected that ended badly last spring. That's when I learned I was Bisexual or pansexual...either way.

My hubby wanted to join a site a few months later for swingers. He found a couple that lived a few hours away. I ended up connecting with her in a way i hadn't with anyone. We were all sexual with eachother. It was great untill her and I wanted some alone time. The fiolling months were worse and worse as both our husbands jelousy grew and no amount of change to appease them was good enough. We lasted 4 months seeing one another a few days out of the month. She ended it with me almost 2 months ago now because she couldn't live with the way her hubby was treating her. We are trying to work on being friend friends but it's tough because she dosen't trust our hubby's to say what they mean and what mean what they say which was a big problem we weren't able to come through. So we aren't seeing eachother and haven't for 2 months. It's really hard for me because it's not what i want. So I'm here to help get through this and gain some insight.

kdt26417 02-12-2014 08:15 PM

Greetings PolyNorCalFam,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

Sounds like things have been a little rough lately; sorry to hear that. I often suggest the Life stories and blogs board because it helps you know you're not alone in having poly struggles, as well as gives you a view of poly from many different angles.

I'm getting the sense that you and the lady from the other couple are both having trust issues with your husbands. You don't feel you can trust them to get a handle on their jealousy and treat you right in a poly situation. What could be done that would help restore the trust?

Let us know if there's any questions we can answer. Glad you could join us.

Kevin T., "official greeter" :)


There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.

Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.

If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.

Welcome aboard!

PolyNorCalFam 02-24-2014 09:22 AM

Thanks ;)
You speak the truth. It's come to not trusting the words they say. Yes it's fine, then making us feel bad after. At this point we may all get together as friends only but now it's tough because I still feel the same. Not sure what I can do. Thoufh I feel I can handle my husbands comunication she cannot. I feel all I can do is back off romanticly and physically and let her work out what she needs. I don't see us being sucseful as a quas in the future as a result of not knowing how to improve the situation. I will check out the other areas you recomended to check out. Thanks :)

kdt26417 02-25-2014 02:50 AM

Good luck; if there's any way I can help let me know. I follow the intro board pretty well most of the time so whenever you post here, I for one will respond.

PolyNorCalFam 02-25-2014 04:38 AM

Thanks! :)

kdt26417 02-26-2014 05:04 AM


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