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-   -   How is this fair (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=68873)

Kimk010514 02-11-2014 11:01 PM

How is this fair
How is it fair to me when both my gf and bf make a promise to each other not to have sex with me when the other one is not around the one time it's allowed is when we all r having intercourse how is that fair ? I got another question how is it fair when my gf makes her husband promise not to have sex with me one on one till things works out I'm so confused on that but hey it's making their relationship stringer I guess but I feel like she only wants her husband to have sex with me when we r all together:confused:

seakinganswers 02-11-2014 11:49 PM

Have you expressed these thoughts to them? If you have and they are not willing to compromise on that then you have two options. Either enjoy the relationship the way it is or part ways.

Kimk010514 02-12-2014 12:39 AM

Yes I have expressed how I felt but I understand why she made her husband promise not to have sex with me one on one cause when they were in a past relationship she pushed her husband away for the girl that they were dating at the time and no he kinda did that but prolly not how she did to him the reasoning she feels like that is because we were all in bed one day and he played with her and then turned over on I his back so he can give me some attention too then she got up to check her phone multiple time while we all were in bed having ALONE time then she came back and ever husband was still playing with me and she felt like he had pushed her away and she was getting jealous cause of how much sex we Was having but that ain't no ones fault but hers cause she would never wake up her husband up to have Alone time to have sex with him so she made him make her a promise that he will not have sex with me one on one till he gained her trust back but i don't think that is right then she told her husband that she would not have sex with me one on one cause she don't think it's fair that she is allowed to have sex with me one on one and he can't and I don't think it is fair at all that me and him can't not have sex together unless we all three are together

PolyinPractice 02-12-2014 12:47 AM

Sigh...find a couple with less drama. Or a woman who is less insecure. Or a man who can grow a pair.

Trust me, people like that exist. I'm dating one.

Kimk010514 02-12-2014 12:49 AM

Let me out this out there this is my very very first poly relationship......Where r those people cause I can't find them

PolyinPractice 02-12-2014 03:16 AM

How old are you and how long have you been looking?

Kimk010514 02-12-2014 03:18 AM

I'm 30 and a lil while but not that long... I got very interested in poly when I was watching the show on showtime called polyamory

PolyinPractice 02-12-2014 06:22 AM

At least you aren't 19. You'd be surprised how many under 25 year olds complain that they'll NEVER find the love of their life...or are in unhealthy relationships but can't leave because what if they NEVER find love again?


But, in all honesty, poly can be harder. Everyone thinks it's easier, cuz you can date anyone right? But as soon as you say you're poly, people freak out. Or can't handle not being your one and only. Or...whatever. It limits your dating pool considerably.

Be patient, you'll meet the right person. But be proactive, too. Build your life in a way that accommodates being poly :) Also, don't take Polyamory as a basis of how to go about being poly. The shows and books that exist today are usually awful :)

Kimk010514 02-12-2014 12:05 PM

I have a 10 month old son that I have to worry about also not just my self anymore my sons father is an asshole so I have to worry about hmmm myself and make sure he is in a good environment ...

Inyourendo 02-12-2014 01:56 PM

Its not fair, its not right. They should not make rules that apply only for you. If those are relationship terms you cant live with then move on. I would never tolerate being a live porno for someone.

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