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-   -   Accidental poly vee... (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=6871)

MissSaints 02-17-2011 11:56 AM

Accidental poly vee...
Hi everyone (sorry for the long post!)
Wow, well I only recently learned that there was even a name for my situation! And I thought it was so weird that there was no chance there was a whole community out there. So it's nice to know I'm not crazy!
Reading a lot of these forum posts, it seems like many people are specifically interested in polyamory and are seeking it. For me, it just happened.
I have been with my boyfriend for around 4 years, and we've always been very happy. We live together and my family all adore him. Then I met this guy through my sporting team in early 2009. We got along really well and had great chemistry. I really didn't expect anything to happen, and of course, I would have never cheated on my boyfriend.
I'd always been kind of curious about having a threesome with two guys but no way did I ever think it would happen. It was just a fun fantasy. Anyway, it actually did happen with this guy and my boyfriend (both guys being totally straight). So that was fun, but I expected it to be a one off. But it wasn't. The other guy moved interstate, but my boyfriend and I would go and visit. Eventually it just turned into a relationship... with me dating my boyfriend and long distance dating this other guy. My boyfriend was fine with it all too. When the other guy visits, they cuddle me on the couch while we watch movies (plus other, less g-rated things!). Only my close friends know, and I don't think they approve that much.
It all seems to work pretty well, especially because the other guy lives so far away and we only catch up once a month.
My question is- is this a usual kind of situation? Has anyone else had a similar experience? Does anyone have any advice?
It definitely DOES feel weird. I thought the threesomes were weird, but now this is on another whole plane of bizarre.. but obviously I have a great deal here (haha) so I'm just kind of riding it out and seeing what happens.
Thanks so much!

BlackUnicorn 02-17-2011 03:28 PM


Originally Posted by MissSaints (Post 66861)
When the other guy visits, they cuddle me on the couch while we watch movies.

Hi and welcome!

I'm a newbie myself, but your description of hanging out with your two guys just made me smile. My flatmate thinks the best time in her world is spent watching TV with me and another close friend, with the two of us taking turns cuddling her.

redpepper 02-17-2011 09:56 PM

Hello and welcome. This scenario of which you speak is quite "normal" here. It does become normalized over time. Enjoy and take it as it comes. There is lots to read here, so if you have a specific question along the way I suggest you do a tag search and see what you come up with. Sounds like you have begun something wonderful. Good for you :)

MissSaints 02-18-2011 12:15 AM

Aw thanks guys! It's just nice to know that I'm definitely not in a unique situation. :)

Ithink 02-23-2011 05:54 PM

My wife and I lived with our third in just your situation for ~5 years and it was glorious and wonderful. We all lived in the same rural yard and spent as much time together as possible. Eventually he met and fell in love with a woman that was adamantly mono and he was forced to choose. We told him we loved him and wanted him to be happy so do what he felt was right for himself and let's remain friends. Sadly they moved across the continent and our happy little triad became a couple again. A very happy, content couple but a couple nonetheless. We would love to become a triad (or a quad) again and, while winning the lottery twice in a lifetime is unlikely, we keep our hearts, minds and arms open hoping to meet someone special again.
Good luck and happy loving.

Ariakas 02-26-2011 05:24 AM

Welcome to the forums. Its sounds like a great set of relationships. Congratulations :)

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