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roman 01-23-2014 08:03 PM

the priest and the young libertarian woman
Hi all,

I'm in the research/first draft phase for a novel I'm currently writing. A crucial part of it is the genuine, authentic meeting between an Italian Jesuit priest and a young woman with African roots, raised and living in the city of London.
The two of them meet while she is travelling alone through Italy (she is hitch-hiking and due to extreme weather conditions he cannot do otherwise but let her into his car). Because of a cascade of events they spend the next couple of days together.
His religious orientation taken in consideration, he is an open minded guy capable of non-judgemental conversation with people of all walks of life. She's a bright and spontaneous gal and shares a loose definition of 'relationship' with her boyfriend.

The reason why I joined the forum is that I thought it a good place to base her libertarian views on love, sex, and relationship from bits and pieces of conversations I find here.
I will never use these bits and pieces themselves (and if I would want to do so, I would ask permision in advance). Also, there's the slightest possibility that amongst the female members on this forum there's someone whose personalitityresembles the character of the book, willing to communicate with me directly (through the forum), thereby giving me the opportunity of first-hand insight.

As my mother-tongue isn't English, and my topics and style of writing are considered difficult, the book will probably not get published, but issued on a print-on-demand basis, in the Dutch language only (although I'm toying with the idea of writing it simulatneously in English as wel).

So any thoughts, tips, idea's, suggestions are welcome.

Looking forward to get to know you,

kdt26417 01-23-2014 09:24 PM

I'm not much of an expert at bookmaking, but based on the type of insight you are seeking for your libertarian woman, I would say immerse yourself well in this forum. I suppose relationship perspective is what you'll be using the most, and so, the Poly Relationships Corner would be the board you'd want to explore the most.

You'll find that there's a wide range of contrasting opinions here, in spite of everyone having in common an interest (and usually participation as well) in polyamory. People also have quite a range of styles of how they (would like to and/or do) practice polyamory in their lives. So essentially you'll want to choose which "shade of poly" you want to paint your female protagonist. There's a lot to choose from.

If you have any questions along the way feel free to post; also you can do searches (including tag searches and advanced searches) for key words and the like.

Good luck in your endeavor.
Kevin T.

opalescent 01-23-2014 10:27 PM


You might find threads discussing relationship anarchy of interest. Search for threads tagged with 'anarchy', 'relationship anarchy' and 'RA'. Libertarianism and anarchism are not the same at all but in the context of relationships might be odd bedfellows.

And, at least in the US (and I realize your characters are not from the United States), libertarian has a very particular political bent, followers of Ayn Rand and such. I am quite libertarian in my views on sexuality and laws regarding sexuality (I believe that little is off the table for consenting adults and that laws about sexuality should be few and focused) but would not consider myself a libertarian at all. You may need to broaden your descriptive focus - but this is based solely on the unfortunately rather nutjob libertarian movement here in the US.

nycindie 01-23-2014 10:36 PM

Hello, did you perhaps actually intend to mean that she is a libertine, one who views moral restraints as unnecessary and especially values having the freedom to explore and experience sensuality and physical pleasures, rather than "libertarian?"

kdt26417 01-24-2014 12:50 AM

Hadn't thought of that; good point.

roman 01-24-2014 09:44 AM

Morning folks,

Yes ... words and meanings ... language and cultural differences ... I do indeed intend her to be a libertine instead of a libertarian.

The anarchy hint might prove to be handy as well. She might have sympathy for that. But then again anarchists and priest usualy don't mix that well.

But I will explore the shades of poly - albeit in a virtual way - thanks for answering and for pointing me out the ways to go!


kdt26417 01-24-2014 11:38 PM

No prob ...

By the way, don't be too quick to discard the relationship anarchy idea. Sure that might make it more challenging for the priest to relate to the libertine lady, but isn't it friction and challenge that helps make for an interesting story line? Perhaps the lady and the priest will learn a lot from each other and both come to new perspectives about things. That in fact is probably a lot of what you'd be shooting for as an author. Give it some thought at least. Learn what you can about relationship anarchy -- after all, even if this lady isn't a relationship anarchist herself, she's likely to at least be aware of what it is. And raising the concept may give the reader more meat to chew on.

Some thoughts anywayz,
Kevin T.

JaneQSmythe 01-26-2014 12:38 AM

I'm a (little L) libertarian - but NOT a Randite.

(I might also be a libertine - but I don't really know what that means - i do have moral constraints - but they are of my own choosing...)

I agree that "relationship anarchy" might be a good place to focus your research...(I probably AM a relationship anarchist...but likely would not adopt that label)

roman 02-04-2014 10:16 AM

Yes indeed, the anarchist thread is thin but very usefull. Makes her an interesting character, which at the same time forms a potent juxtaposition with the openminded priest. I'll check your blogposts Jane and see what tressures i'm able to dig up there. Thanks!

kdt26417 02-05-2014 12:23 AM

More RA info, taken from http://polyamoryonline.org/smf/index...44316#msg44316 ...

RA = Relation Anarch, Relation Anarchist, Relation Anarchy, Relationship Anarchy, or unlimited relations. RA is a form of polyamory in which relationships are not formally defined, so that one is not expected to behave strictly as a "friend," a "spouse," a "lover," a "partner," or what have you, in the company of any one (or more) other person (or persons). Many relationship anarchists simply call everyone they know "friend." This freedom from RD (Relationship Definitionism) enables several parallel relations that can each be friendly, sensual, and sexual. As with other forms of polyamory, RA depends on the acceptance of all persons involved.
RA principles:
  • You can love many, and each relationship is unique.
  • Love and Respect is to have no demands (no templates).
  • Give yourself a solid point of view (no exemptions).
  • Remember the heterosexual norm but don't be afraid.
  • Spontaneity instead of duty.
  • Fake it til you make it.
  • Trust instead of suspicion.
  • Change through communication.
On-site threads:Off-site references:With finpoly being perhaps the best of the above.

Hope that helps.
Kevin T.

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