Polyamory.com Forum

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-   -   new and questioning (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=68342)

lj17 01-06-2014 04:00 AM

new and questioning
Hi! I'm Lindsey.

I'm 24, in a long-term relationship, but am starting to question whether a polyamorous relationship might be good for me, and possibly my partner as well... I don't want to end my relationship with him, in fact I definitely want it to continue, but I think we both might be happier if we could see other people as well. He has mentioned having a more "casual" relationship as something he might like, but I'm not sure yet if that's what he means. I'm new to this whole idea, though I have watched a lot of videos about it and read about it, and people seem to be pretty happy in their polyamorous relationships. I'm starting to consider talking to my boyfriend about this, but I don't even know if I could handle it.

Thanks everyone. Glad this place exists.

kdt26417 01-07-2014 05:49 AM

Greetings Lindsey,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

You'll find a lot of info, advice, and support here, so dig right in and see what you can find. The Life stories and blogs board may actually be your best place to start. Just reading about how various people have navigated their own poly waters (and you can journal there yourself too if you want).

How much does your boyfriend know about polyamory in general? Would it be a foreign thing to him if you brought it up? How many questions might he have? There's a movie or three I'd recommend if he's quite new to the idea.

Hope you find Polyamory.com to be as helpful and useful as I have so far.

Kevin T., "official greeter" :)


There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

Please read through the guidelines if you haven't already.

Note: You needn't read every reply to your posts, especially if someone posts in a disagreeable way. Given the size and scope of the site it's hard not to run into the occasional disagreeable person. Please contact the mods if you do (or if you see any spam), and you can block the person if you want.

If you have any questions about the board itself, please private-message a mod and they'll do their best to help.

Welcome aboard!

GalaGirl 01-07-2014 03:03 PM


WHAT do you hope to experience? :)
  • love share with another person?
  • sex share with another person?
  • Love + sex share with another person?
  • Something else?

HOW would it be good for you?

WHAT open model interests you most? HOW would you tweak it to suit you and your partner and make space for new partner(s)?

Because right now I hear "I might be willing to polyship. I am not sure I am able to polyship."

I am not hearing "I AM willing to polyship. I AM able to polyship."

(I am not hearing where your current partner's willingness and ability for polyshipping are at either.)

Maybe you are both willing and able to read links together? Not more than that at this time while you think it out?


You might not know if you can handle polyshipping at this time, but you CAN handle talking to your BF in open/honest ways at this time.

The worst that happens is what? Some shared mental/emotional intimacy and greater understanding of each other. Doesn't sound horrible to me! ;)

What you do after gaining that greater understanding -- that's all up to you two.


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