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-   -   If you're new to the Poly life (http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=68303)

talkmeister 01-03-2014 11:09 PM

If you're new to the Poly life
There is an interesting interview of a poly couple on www.TomBecka.com This is a podcast page of interesting interviews of everyday people with interesting stories to tell.

if you're new or thinking about the lifestyle there may be some interesting information for you there.

kdt26417 01-04-2014 04:39 AM

Greetings talkmeister,
Welcome to our forum. Please feel free to lurk, browse, etc.

Updated/more specific link: http://www.tombecka.com/threes-not-a...amourous-life/


"It is a situation where a couple is married and committed to each other but they go and -- date, outside of their circle. -- It's not an open marriage."
Oh dear. I think Tom Becka forgot to include polyfidelity, such as my sitch with a legally wedded couple and myself -- but we're all equally primary, and have no sex outside of our three-person circle. And he failed to mention connected circles/networks of poly people where no one in the group is legally married to anyone else. Poly is so much more than just a married couple that dates (much less dates as a couple). Crap. Wish he hadn't gone public with that misinformation.


Man: "No. We really don't have an open relationship, strangely. I mean, being open to possibly having other people join you isn't the same thing as being open ... it wouldn't be okay for me to just meet somebody in an evening and hook up with them. It wouldn't be okay for me to just have a fling, or go out and have sex with people. That's not what this is about.
Woman: Yeah, it's more we have this whole process, where if we are interested in somebody, everybody has to meet and everybody has to get along. We go through an interview process to see if it's feasible before anything even happens at all."
Oh good. That describes (one variation of) polyfidelity at least. It's hard to get a public figure to both support polyamory and know the full range of its definitions (or even just the core/common definitions).


Man: "If you asked 100 different polyamorous people about what it means to be poly, you'd get 100 different variations."
Now we're talking! :)

Anyway, aside the one quibble I had, this was a really good podcast and gave a good view of one couple's experience with polyamory. Thanks for sharing it.

Kevin T., "official greeter" :)


There's a *lot* of good info in Golden Nuggets. Have a look!

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